So me and this girl have been dating for two months, the time we spent together is great, and we really get along. Our chemistry is good, we have some niche interests which align, sex and intimacy is great. We’ve met each others friends, and she’s met my siblings, and her family knows about me. So far it’s getting a bit serious and were doing very good, and I’m pretty damn sure she’s quite into me.
Now comes the tricky part, I’ve never been in a relationship before, let alone dated someone. Except the odd one night stand I haven’t had much intimacy with women. I can count on one hand the girls I’ve had crushes on throughout my life, and when it has happened I have been thinking about them all the time, pretty much infatuated by them (butterflies in stomach and the whole shebang).
The latest girl this happened with I eventually confessed to (only one I’ve done it to), and it wasn’t reciprocated. After a lot of back and forth over months we eventually up together, however extremely briefly as she broke up with me out of the blue. It hurt pretty bad, and it took me a long time to get over her but eventually I got over her, but I feel I perhaps might have lost a bit of the lover in me here, or perhaps put my guard higher up, essentially that I got burned.
Now with this new girl, everything is perfect, she’s pretty much all I’m looking for. However, I’ve yet to feel these strong feelings I’ve had towards my previous crushes where I almost can feel this weird/good sensation in my body when I imagine them. I’m still excited to see her, I catch myself thinking about her randomly, and if I could just right this moment if I’d rather be alone or with her atm, I for sure would choose her (which would be most of the time).
I just don’t want to feel like I’m leading her on for me to dump her, it would just be unfair. I’m afraid that the getting burnt previously has rendered me unable to feel the same things I have done before, or are perhaps these feelings not as strong as she’s actually attainable and actively shows interest, or is it still too early to tell. Any advice is much appreciated.
tl:dr; I’ve been seeing a girl for two months, she’s great, and we have a great time together. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t feel the same feelings towards her that I previously have had towards crushes. Is this normal in this stage of dating?
1 comment
It sounds like the feeling that is absent is the feeling of unreciprocated affection. Which is a pretty intense feeling. It’s ok if this one feels less intense, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s not as real.