i know the title might be confusing, but i am too and a i need some advice. don’t know if it’s a kink or something, but i crave the feeling of almost fearing for life during sex. i don’t know if others feel this way as well but i’m having a hard time explaining it to my partner. he knows i have a history in sexual assault, and the last thing he wants to do is scare me or hurt me, but it’s something i want to test the waters of. i want to be actually scared, i find it to be the only way i can truly feel anything. i don’t know how to explain this to my partner or ways i can somehow bring this into our sex life slowly. i don’t know where to start and i’m nervous of the lines being blurred at any point in time. how do i avoid going over the edge and also making sure my partner is comfortable with this? also, if it does bring up bad feelings from the past, how do i assure him it’s not his fault? any advice would be amazing. thank you
2 comments
People, like myself, who have been through a sexual trauma tend to develop kinks that align with their trauma. I think it’s a way to take back control from what happened in a safe and trusting environment. I find it healing personally. Maybe explain it like that.
Ive had the same thing happen and we tried it. It brought up old feelings and the times that it didn’t, i didn’t enjoy it. I think it’s because you have the history that you do that you think u will enjoy it, and maybe you will. Fs use a safe word, this will save you so much. Have a safe word and a safe gesture (in case you cant talk). Get lots of reassurance from him beforehand. Talk it through and if he isn’t comfortable, don’t force it ^^