A business associate invited my brother and I to their home for dinner tomorrow for the third time. We are both hermits and never socialize. I have turned down their previous invitations with lame excuses but I’m not sure what to do now. My gut says ghost him but we work with him and he’s very nice. Nice enough to keep inviting us over for get togethers after declining multiple times.
Here’s my concerns…
-There’s a language barrier and he speaks very fast and with lots of euphemisms. It’s difficult for me to understand him even though he has a positive aura. I’m on the spectrum so social cues are hard enough to decipher in my primary language.
-I don’t know his family or friends so I would be in the presence of a bunch of strangers. I wouldn’t know what to talk about.
-My brother feels similarly and I don’t want to put him through something he’s not prepared for.
Here’s my attempt to challenge these thoughts…
-You’re fluent enough and he speaks light heartedly. He isn’t expecting you to through euphemisms back. A smile will suffice. Your presence is enough.
-You might just greet people and explain how you know the host. If your brother comes, then you have a buddy. If you’re alone…. shit idk.
-He can decide for himself. Am I prepared? On a 1-10 scale, 1 being “No don’t make me go!”, 10 being “Please take me with you!”, and 5 being “I don’t want to go, but I feel obligated to go, so I will go”. I’m at a 3.5. How do I get above a 5..? Idk
Why is this the best thing that could happen to you?
There might be an opportunity I’m not seeing yet. I might actually meet someone interesting enough to speak to comfortably. It’s social practice. It’s a challenge for growth. The obstacle is the way… etc. etc.
To be continued…