My girlfriend and I have been dating 6 months, 4 of which have been long distance (14 hour time difference). She’s an RA at a dorm, and a few months ago, one of her guy friends moved into the same dorm to become an RA. From what she tells me, they’re really close and have been friends for a long time. However, it’s gotten to the point where her plans almost always involve him (most of the time in group settings). They’ve even gone traveling recently (also in a group). I don’t think anything’s necessarily going on, however, that’s also a lot harder to tell because of distance.
In my last relationship, my ex moved to college, and we did long distance. She ended up getting close with one of her roommates. She never cheated, but she got together with him after we broke up. Obviously, this current situation is bothering me quite a bit. I’ve brought this up to her respectfully. She told me “Don’t worry, I only love you. Besides, he knows about our relationship and he has a girlfriend,” (although, he recently broke up with her). I let it go, but I’m still really bothered by it.
I don’t know how to proceed. Part of me feels like a fool watching them spend time together and get closer, and that I should just break it off. We talk on the phone for an hour or 2 each day. However, there’s a lot of aspects to a relationship we miss out on by being long distance, and it feels like he’s my replacement while we’re apart. Other times, I feel like I should stop being insecure, and that she’s allowed to have close male friends. I don’t want to be controlling and possesive. But… something I can’t help is how I feel when she tells me they’re doing something together. I don’t know how to deal with this situation. What would you do?
EDIT: I moved away from her, not the other way around. I was studying abroad in Japan for a year, but had to go back to the US to finish my last year of college.
EDIT 2: Maybe this was an important detail I missed, but they’ve been friends for a couple years before I met her. He’s a year younger than her. They met in college her Sophomore year when he was a freshman. She’s now a senior, him a junior.
EDIT 3: I have a 2-week trip to Japan to visit her that I leave for in a little over a week. Do you think I should try to meet him while I’m there?