So we have done other stuff, hands and grinding mostly, but sex hasn’t happened yet, and what we have done has only happened four or five times. We’ve been dating for a year and 3 months.
We have tried but she says that penetration hurts for her with only a finger in, she’s gone to the gynecologist about it and she was told to just relax. She is the type to have a lot of nervous energy and she told me she barely got examined so I can believe thatthe gynecologist just assumed nerves, but we’ve tried a few times with no improvement. I’ve asked her to go back and get a proper check up several times but has forgotten about it repeatedly. The procrastination on it is real as it’s been nearly a year since that initial visit and she’s gone to the doctor for other stuff since and always just says she forgot when I ask.
If it is revealed we just can’t have sex for medical reasons then I’m fine with that, I mean it’ll be a bit of a letdown but still I’ll get over it, and I’ve let her know this, more than once.
The real issue is that I’m starting to wonder if she even cares about it at all. She never seems to want sex, I’m always the one to initiate, and she’ll usually say we don’t have time (when we have hours) or doesn’t want to make a mess or let’s do it tmrw instead, and I’ll back off but she’ll still want to cuddle. She’ll get way more touchy feely after rejecting sex and that makes it really hard to enjoy cuddling.
Last night we had a talk and she told me she’s worried she’s leading me on, I told her she’s fine and we’ll move at our own pace, but I can’t deny that I’m losing my patience, especially with the procrastination. I love her genuinely, but I’m really starting to worry she just doesn’t want sex in general, she assures me that’s not the case tho
I don’t think she considers it a problem in our relationship like I do, I’ve made it very clear that it’s something I want and need from a relationship but I’m worried she doesn’t feel the same and only goes along with it for me, which makes it hard to enjoy the “sex” we do have because it feels unreciprocated.
It’s pushing me into depression a bit, outside of this one issue she’s the perfect gf, kind, accepting, warm, intelligent, and beautiful. If we broke up it’d break both of our hearts and I doubt we’d even know how to just be friends. I don’t want to lose her, but I also want to have sex with my gf on a somewhat regular basis, I feel like a shallow asshole for even cobsidering a break up over lack of sex but I can’t deny that it’s important to me that I have that in a relationship.
Idk if I’m making this post because I want advice or because I needed to vent either way that’s where I’m at. Going with the just venting tag because I’m being forced to choose