If you have said something misogynistic and you didn’t realise it at the time, what made you think it was okay to say it?

16 comments

1. I was still young, and had grown up steeped in a culture in which misogyny was normal and even celebrated. In my childhood and adolescence (and probably yours too, for that matter), too many loud assholes thought caring about misogyny was laughable. “It’s just a joke.” “You’re too sensitive.” Shit like that.

2. Because I didn’t know any better. I was raised by a very misogynistic mother who constantly scolded me for not behaving more “like a girl.” So I developed a really strong “I’m not like other girls attitude.”

   I’m so glad I learned how wrong I was.

3. “I understand it’s still my role to cook and clean even if I’m working.” – Me in Christian premarital counseling with my ex fiancé. He was a religious extremist, didn’t have a job, and expected me to take care of the bills and give his parents a monthly $400 thank you for raising me payment. The brain washing ran deep. So glad I found the light and freedom. I used to be so miserable!

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6. I was a young teen and it was the early-mid 2000s. That shit was everywhere, and I didn’t have people around me who were challenging those ideas.

7. Probably being around men who I thought, thought the same or wanted to hear those things and I was seeking validation.

8. Yes a couple time I’ve caught myself

9. I was around 13 the first time Hilary Clinton ran for president. I made a joke to my grandma that she couldn’t be president because she would try to start a war once a month. I don’t remember where I heard it, but I obviously had to hear that from somewhere. Either one of my relatives made the joke in front of me or they were watching something where someone made the joke.

   My grandma very sternly said “that’s not funny” and went back to what she was doing.

10. I thought being a contrarian and saying controversial things was cool. Looking back, it was really cringe (tbf I was in middle/ high school and going through my not like other girls phase lol)

11. I was from a misogynistic culture and didn’t know any better.

12. I think if it’s about myself, I don’t immediately see it as misogynistic.

13. When I was YOUNGER, I’d look down my nose at girls who loved makeup, getting their hair done and who liked getting dolled up. I was a, NoT lIKE oTHER GiRLS.

    Now, I am one of the most feminine, girly-girls I know. My favourite thing in the world? Sitting at my vanity table and experimenting with makeup looks and getting dolled up.

14. Internalized misogyny. We are taught to hate ourselves and eachother. We are taught to repeat the things men say, and laugh at their jokes. We are taught that to excepted we have to be “cool/ not like other girls” and to play along with all the bs.

    We all have internalized misogyny. It’s just a matter of deconstructing and finding all the ways it plays a part in our lives and thoughts and feelings.

    It’s a long hard path, but liberating.

15. “I’m not like other girls.”

    Much younger and did not yet realize the way women are pitted against women.

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