Does everyone adjust to a shittier reality of grinding your life away all the time and not feeling able to catch a break, just thankful to scrape by? How do you guys keep your hope up and not feel alone with the burdens?
Finding the line between doing what you enjoy and making enough money to not feel that way seems to be a difficult one.
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A lot of people do but not everyone does. I have definitely met or am currently friends with people who are living their best life. By that I mean they do what they love for a living and earn well from it (I don’t know anyone who earns a great living from what they love yet). But even so, I do think they’re exceptions. I do think this is possible but difficult to achieve.
What exactly are you defeated about and why? This question is way too vague.
I’ve been defeated by some things and accepted it, and I’ve also persevered depending on what the situation is. A smart person knows when they’re beaten and to move on.
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I think that it’s not about being defeated/not defeated, it’s about embracing the suck – old age, pain, negative situations are all but guaranteed, but still – go do exactly what you want, in spite of it.
Is that settling in? I don’t think so. I think it is the opposite.
For most of us, some amount of letting go is normal and healthy. Being defeated is a feeling you give to yourself. You decide when you’ve lost. Something that helps is rather “giving up”, change some of your goals.
Have both concrete goals (by the end of the year, I will be able to run a mile) and abstract goals (I want to spend more time with my friends). Weave those into the fabric of your life.
All you really need to be happy is a roof over your head and enough money for food and clothing. After you have those things additional money doesn’t actually buy happiness. Some people think it does, and sure it might make them happy for a few years, until the truth sets in – which is that true happiness comes from within – learning to love yourself and working to improve yourself little by little, day by day.
Life continues to present new challenges and you get to enjoy rising to them
You have choices to make. Certain doors open and others close as a result. Raise a family or go cycling across Europe (or find a way to do both)
I generally recommend finding an intellectually-stimulating, well-paid job with just the right amount of work for you to do (ok that was a bit tongue-in-cheek)
Onwards and upwards. Life is good
Ive met tons of people in their early and mid 20s who have been to 20+ countries and way more. So i think when you really want something that thing youll go get. Other stuff you have to consider maybe u didnt want it that bad
luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Without the preparation, no amount of opportunity matters. With all of the preparation in the world, you have to wait for the opportunity. Don’t give up. Don’t be a victim. Know what you can and cannot control.
>Does everyone get defeated and settle in eventually?
No, everyone doesn’t. Demonstably not. In fact, many if not most people continue to strive on, putting one foot in front of the other, getting a little better every day, and being grateful for their blessings (like the ability to put one foot in front of the other).
It’s not as hard as you make it sound. Gratitude is a good place to start.
I’m tempted to give up. But not going down without a fight
I find a way out by grinding for a few years and by picking a very simple/frugal lifestyle. That way I achieved to clear 20years worth of mortgage in only 2 years. Now mortgage free since I’m 32, my partner and I can work part time and live comfortably. We don’t spend much on stuff we don’t need outside of travels.
Still drive my old 2007 toyota, buy furniture used, for instance our oven ans fridge cost 250$ each. We buy clothes from thrifstore for a fraction of the price. We check market place constantly when we need something, for instance my last found was a 350$ patio set to sit 9 people that usually cost 2500$ new.
Defeated? Never! I’ve simply found alternate ways to define victory.
It’s a mixed bag for me. I’ve definitely learned how to accept certain things and let others go, but to me it’s been a healthy process. I don’t really feel like I’m settling but more letting go of ideas that tormented me in some way. And at the same time I’m more likely than ever to go after something that I want. I still have hopes and dreams and goals but I don’t look at any of them as do or die my life is a failure if I don’t do this types of things.
Nah; not everyone. The drive and the grind to get what you want isn’t easy.
I can relate to the struggle.
When I was younger and had less bills, I’d go to things like concerts and sporting events regularly. It was fun while it lasted but they are too expensive for me to enjoy now with rent and everything else.
Live your life within your means. If your income isn’t enough to do or have what you want, you have to find a way to increase your income.
I’m lucky in that I don’t really want much. I don’t want kids or a big house or a fancy car. Wanting less helps keep stress down, but it also kinda sucks not knowing what I’m working towards.
I’ve been feeling burnt out and listfull for the past year. Just moved out of my place and landed in Mexico yesterday. I’m going to travel around while working remotely until I feel like going home. I should be able to live for the same or less money than I did at home in the US.
I’ll be focusing on excitement and exploration, both inside and out. Work will be constant, but not the primary focus of this period of my life.
I will probably settle down in a year or two and post up somewhere to improve my career and find a partner, but I feel like I need more experience living and seeing what options are out there before I decide/discover what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I know not everyone has the flexibility to do what I’m doing, but the spirit of exploration and experiencing new things is what I am focusing on, and you can find that in things besides travel. New hobbies, new friends, new environments. Maybe get a new job (seriously, it can have MAJOR benefits in ways you can’t imagine). A new job can be uncomfortable and difficult, but those feelings are also part of growing and learning, and can help break up the monotony of life while helping you get excited about something.
Settling down, I starting a family and having security isn’t being defeated if that’s what you mean. You can still do all kinds of travel and weekend warrior stuff. It’s all about perspective.
I’m very glad I found a career I can grind in AND it rewards you. I am already defeated and settling into the possibility of being alone. But, that doesn’t mean I have given up.
I’m going to keep working on myself and we’ll see where that gets me. If it leads to a comfortable life, doing the hobbies I love, without a woman, that’s still a great life.
Fuck no. My life is getting better and better.
I think it’s interesting how most of the “yeses” are from people in their 30s, and “nos” from 40+. I definitely learned a lot about myself and grew in those years.
Yes. I’ve felt defeated, but I’ve had to develop more gratitude for things I do have.
I have health, food, clothing, shelter, steady job, loving wife, loving kids, a home, some creature comforts, can go on vacation, heat, paid time off, medical care, etc … apparently I have it better than 99% of humans that have ever lived.
I don’t have yachts or anything like that but my life is okay.
I felt defeated because there was a lot of chaos in my life. I wasn’t happy at my job. I eventually found one I love after a long search. I worked harder with my wife to reduce the chaos. My new job pays more but not life changing more… what is life changing is how much I’m respected and valued. My last place was toxic.
You simply downshift eventually.
Especially if and when you have a family.
You settle into the marathon and stop sprinting once your body stops being able to work so hard and such insane hours of the day.
The older I get the less it takes for me to be happy. I don’t feel defeated, but my 20 year old self would think I do.