Hello :).
I (m23) have a question I’m hoping any woman can chime in on, guys are welcome too lol.
Anyway. I’ll try to keep it very short though!
I started dating this girl about 2 weeks ago. Now I’m not one to catch feelings fast and after experiencing past relationships, I know how important taking it slow is.
Last week we had a really amazing time with each other. We saw each other about 5 times last week. Twice in one day last week Saturday lol. It was really good. Now this past Saturday things got a bit more deep. We kissed for the first time, went out, came back to my place so I can cook for her (it was already planned) and before eating we got intimate and did it. During that time, toward the end, she asked if we can pause, I said of course! She said she was feeling shy and didn’t know why. So I quickly stopped, got a blanket to cover her and comforted her. I asked if she wanted to go in the living room to eat and watch tv , she agreed.
So, we ate and watched TV. I noticed it was a bit awkward, but nothing too terrible. I believe it’s just that post sex awkwardness lol. My goal was to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Sex wasn’t my main goal with her that night. Just spending time with her and getting to know her is what I want. We both were in the moment and it just happened. It was getting late, I would have offered if she’d like to stay, but I don’t want to come off too strong. So I took her home. We planned the next date on the way over. We kissed each other good night and that was that. I got home, told her I’m home and said I had an amazing time and look forward to seeing her again, also told her to sleep well ;).
Next day (Sunday) I noticed she left some belongings. So I reached out and told her I’d be happy to bring those to her. I noticed she was feeling uncomfortable last night, so I offered if she’d like to talk about it over some coffee or lunch (not a busy environment)
I thought maybe the holding hands, kissing or the sex was too much in one day. So I’m definitely happy to hear what she had to say and of course, if needed, take a step back and move a bit more slowly. (I didn’t text that lol)
I sent that text in the morning. She didn’t reply for about 7 hours. I didn’t take that personal. I know she has her own thing going on. I’m patient as can be. Her reply was, she had a headache all day and was in and out of sleep. she’s in no rush to get her belongings, so not to worry, and she said let’s talk, she just needs a couple days.
I took that as she needs some time to herself, so of course my reply was, I completely understand. I’ll be here for when you’re ready to talk :). Left it at that and went on with my day.
I did feel a bit bad and dwelled on it. Possibly chased her away. But I accepted what could be the fate. I’m not one to jump to the next girl. It’s not in me. I like to get to know someone one on one. I do not expect that from her or anyone else I’ve dated.
So! Sorry for all this text! Anyway. Today! We both wake up very early in the morning for work. I noticed she had messaged me good morning, Hope your day goes well! Although I was very pleased, I had to keep my composure. So I didn’t reply fast, I let it sit for about 30mins, then got back to her saying good morning as well and thanked for wishing my day goes well, I hoped the same for her of course.
In that same text, I did ask, very respectfully of course. “When you said you needed a couple days, did you want me to pause the texting until you’re ready to talk, or did you need some time to yourself (no dates/no hangouts)? I just want to give you the space you need :). I still want to see you of course, but only when you’re comfortable!”
I was just a bit puzzled, since she said that she needed a couple days yesterday, but texted me this morning. My main intention with that question is to understand her request. She knows I’m a nice guy and the question is not meant to be hurtful at all. I want to be able to understand her so that if things do get a bit more serious, I know how to navigate the situation.
I really do like her and want to know her more. But of course I don’t want to push her away so I’m happy to respect what she requests. Am I the wrong here? Did I miss something?