I’m gonna start off by saying my wife is amazing!
My wife is very much reactive sexually. Once we are in the moment, she is completely enjoying it (usually more than once). It’s not a question of if she enjoys it, but when we aren’t actively doing it, it’s not even a hint of a thought for her.
It makes me feel like I am the only one who wants physical intimacy. Or that I have to be the one who initiates, or it just won’t happen. We have had conversations about this before a few times, and she will initiate for a few days after, but we quickly fall back into our patterns.
When she is thinking about sex, she will initiate, but her thinking about it unprompted almost never happens. Even if she is reading a spicy book or watching a spicy movie, she will stop thinking about it the second it is not in front of her. I have brought it up many times, but she says she just doesn’t think about it. Not like she actively doesn’t think about it, but more like it never enters her thoughts to begin with.
It often makes me feel like I have the pressure to initiate, or maybe I am expected to be the horn one. Is there a way that I could help her think about it on her own without feeling like I’m nagging? She definitely enjoys it a lot more when she initiates. I am all about her pleasure, but when I’m the only one who brings it up, I feel like I’m giving the impression that I’m only about my own pleasure.