Yesterday, I shaved my beard off. I used to never wear a beard in my life but apparently my girlfriend likes it a lot so I try to keep it long but generally speaking I do it only for her as it bothers me. It feel like my skin is not breathing and I don‘t like the way it looks. It doesn‘t look like me.
Anyways, yesterday it started itching a lot and I just shaved it off.
My girlfriend came home. She wasn‘t looking in my face, kept ignoring me and acting very cold, distant and weird towards me. Only thing she told me was that I look ugly, that I totally ruined my face. She just told me in 100 different ways how bad I look now. Which I totally don‘t understand, everyone in my family and friends likes my without my beard and I am definitely hood looking with or without a beard. when we got together I did not ever wear a beard.
She was crying, yelling at me. Complaining about me being full of my self and superficial because I said idc what she thinks I still look really good and I know that. After she aggressively tried to express how bad I look, how she wont have sex with me, how her friend told you that it makes man insecure to tell them such but she doesn‘t care.
She just kept complaining and acting distant whole night until I blew off and told her that being in this situation makes me extremely unhappy and that I will go sleep on the couch.
I am currently staying at hers, I came to visit her and I usually stay for a couple weeks/months since I live in a different country. I have allergies against her cat. I get heavy sinusitis and sore throat when he is on the bed.
She said that I can‘t do compromises. That because of me she has to sleep without the cat and windows and courtains closed. (I feel to cold its winter and I can‘t sleep when its not fully dark)
She said that these are crazy compromises for her, which kind of hot me laughing inside lol. That she just can‘t sleep like this but she still does it. So I opened her curtains, gave her the cat and left to the living room.
She came back was crying, sorry and that this is totally her fault and that she will change this childish way of hers.
Btw last week she got angry then she just took her cat and went to hang out with him on the bed. Just to violate the agreement we had bc I get sick when the cat is on the bed. (To her it isn‘t visible, I have no rash or anything but I get severe pain behind my eyes, mucus and have to lay in bed all day. It ruins my day and makes me depressed). She had promised me to keep the bed room tidy and the cat off the bed when I told her I didnt want to stay for too long at hers. She had literally begged me to stay.
Now she keeps saying that these are big sacrifices. Now I kind of feel bad about tje fact that I have my own business and work from my computer but Ineed a office to work out of or I lose significant revenue but I sacrifice this to stay with her. Where I don‘t have an office.
Anyways today morning she started talking about the beard situation again. She had forgotten what she told me last night. She was trying to make everything seem like it was my fault. She said again the thing about her compromised. That I am not able of any. That it bothers her a lot that I cut my beard without even telling her. I told her that this is my f… face and that she can’t even compare this to her bedroom window or anything else. I have to carry around this itchy thing that blocks my skin from breathing on my face…. the she said I should have had messaged her and told her that it bothers me she said but she was loosing it at this point.
I just completely blew off at this moment. Because I just felt weird about having to notify someone about “shaving“ something that bothers me off my face. it reminded me of how my mom would sometimes make little jokes about my dad when he shaved, that she would appreciate and accept him no matter what. I just tried to imagine my mom pulling off something like this and I just couldn’t.
I just felt weird about having to notify someone about shaving off my beard. I felt like pushed into something I don’t want to do.
I yelled at her like I yelled at no one else ever before in my life. In fact I never had to yell at anyone. My voice is now hoarse. She yelled back at me that we should break up and that I don’t know how to have a relationships. Now she is acting like nothing happened and is telling me how much I love her. I don’t know what I am supposed to do at this point. I have this weird feeling of not being in control of life in my chest. I don’t want to go through something like this because or a …. beard. A beard. Am I overreacting?
How should I proceed at this point? What should I tell her about this situation?
FYI: I wore the beard for months just because she likes it but it just bothers me. Last time I cut it she gave me comments like “I don’t f… with kids”.
TLDR: Shaved my beard, she started to tell me that I look ugly in every way possible. Called me superficial for saying that I don’t. Went crazy because “I didn’t talk to her about it”, even though I kept it for so long bc of her and it was bothering me A LOT! Now she says I can’t make compromises and compares it to her compromises regarding my allergies.