My bf and met through some mutual friends about 7 months ago.
This is my very first serious relationship so everything is new to me. Our relationship wasn’t really a decision; it just sort of happened after being friends for a few months. And it is kinda unconventional because we both have demanding careers and don’t get to see each other in person as often as we’d like.
Last time we hung out I noticed that my boyfriend has fallen very hard for me; to a point where I feel like it could possibly be an emotional dependency thing for him.
I have fallen hard for him too. But I still value my interdependence in the relationship and guard myself. Now that my boyfriend and I have become more serious, I’m trying to think more logically about the relationship.
Obviously, before getting in a new relationship you assess your feelings and basic compatibility points. But it still takes time to truly get to know someone and I feel like my boyfriend and I are at a point in our relationship where we are getting to know each other’s true selves.
I think it’s important to start thinking of new, more specific discussions that could possibly surface some hidden conflicts/ differences incompatible for a long-term or lifelong relationship. But I want to discuss them knowing my BF and I will do everything we can to make us work, but also be strong enough to end things if we ultimately can’t.
I get anxious seeing how much my boyfriend loves me. He never brings up difficult topics, just loves me so deeply it makes me feel guilty for being anxious. And I’m scared that if we had to end things for whatever reason, it would destroy him. I’m terrified he would feel betrayed or blame himself.
I have no idea how to communicate this anxiety to him without making him think I’m doubting our relationship. Because I really want us to work.
I also don’t know how to get both of us to approach difficult discussions in a way we both feel heard and valued no matter what it could lead to.
Please give advice if you have any.