Sorry for the format, can never get my browser to work.
Anyways, my boyfriend (25 M) and I (25 F) have been together for going on 8 years and we seem to be struggling after this past year. It’s been such a tough year for both of us, but especially him, and I think it’s gotten to the point where we need outside help.
This year really was full of bad things happening over and over again for him.
-To start, he was running a business with his dad, his dream line of work. Long story short with this one, his dad basically ran it into the ground and he had to give it up. He sold everything he owned(which a lot of it was equipment for this job, that I cannot express how much he LOVED) and got a job working crazy crazy hours just to make up for lost money because of his dad.
-His mother got diagnosed with cancer in the beginning of the year and she declined so quickly. Within 3ish months she was basically bed ridden and he had to go over everyday after work to take care of her. She was in and out of the hospital almost daily. It was really awful to watch but he had to do what he had to do and stayed very strong throughout it, for his mom. Sadly she lost her battle in the beginning of September.
-Then in just the 2 months that’s followed, he’s lost 3 friends all unexpectedly at different times. One of them I would consider one of his closest friends & his death was beyond tragic.
Theres been other stressors that have occurred for him but these were the big ones. Now we were doing good for a while, but still both struggling. We’ve talked about everything multiple times and finding good ways to cope but it’s fallen flat.
I’ve had my own issues going on with my own family, plus some of these deaths were pretty significant to me too (reminder we’ve been together almost 8 years) that have been straining for me as well plus in the middle of all the deaths (end of October) my brother got seriously injured while working and broke his hip, pelvis, and elbow. Putting him in the hospital for a week. He has a 2 year old son and I work with my sister in law, so during all of this I’ve been babysitting, visiting him in the hospital, and covering some of her shifts at work.
Now he’s been home since the beginning of November but still very very limited on what he can do. He had to use a walker and could barely get off the couch, couldn’t go upstairs in His own house for a month straight. So I’ve been over at his house helping anyway I can, and again, babysitting a lot.
So all in all, it’s been a long year. We’ve gotten to the point where we feel like we’ve barely seen each other and it’s put a strain on the relationship because we both need our #1 supporter but can’t have them because we’re too busy dealing with our own stuff. It sucks because I know he’s really struggling to cope with all of this loss and I feel like I haven’t been able to be there for him like a partner should be, but I’m not close with most of my family except my brother, so if he needs help, I’m helping 100%.
Recently my boyfriend mentioned him needing a break from the relationship, not break up but wants time to get his life & emotions right. He’s overwhelmed, tired, sad, angry, everything. He feels like he wakes up, goes to work, comes home, goes to bed, repeat. And he’s just defeated. I think I got caught up in my own stuff that I didn’t realize how bad it was for him too. I feel really awful and don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to take a break but if that’s what he needs I want to respect it but I also still want to do better on being there for him.
Any advice on how to navigate this? I’ll take all the help I can get.
*should also mention we do live together.
TL;DR this past year has been a total mess in my bfs personal life and now he wants a break. What do I do?