This has been going on for some years. I’m feeling like a peripheral “spare” friend.
For some added context: I’m not the type to initiate events of my own (although I want to, I’m too reserved to really do it). I tend to wait to be invited to things. I haven’t kept consistent contact online with these friends (neither have they done the same with me to any meaningful extent) and don’t live super near to any of them. But I’ve had some history of knowing them stretching back to school.
I’m of two minds about the situation:
I sort of feel uncomfortable about not getting invited, but simultaneously tell myself that that’s an insecure feeling to harbour to begin with and I should be happy for others to choose who they want to be around. If that’s not me, cool. If it is, cool. On the other hand I feel I ought to be invited more and not getting offered is somehow them low-key showing disrespect. They surely know I’m not there and have consciously decided to not include me.
The thing is a few times a year every few months I might get invited to something. So it sort of has me thinking that there’s still a substantial thing going on. But then it’s back to radio silence.
So I’m struggling to know if I need to just cut them off and move on, or wait for the phone to ring and to get invited to something (which is not happening very much these days).
The frequency of initiations of interactions on their part has slowly dropped off over the past 1-2 years. What even *is* the normal frequency of contact? I’m 26M and they mostly are, too. Are these people “friends” or something else entirely?