Women diagnosed with ADHD, what led to a diagnosis?

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1. My child was diagnosed. I saw them dealing with the same struggles I had growing up, and instead of jumping to moral failing, like was done to me, I approached it by how I could help them. After a lot of research, I stumbled upon the possibility that it could be ADHD. They got tested. During testing, I found out that it is genetic. I got tested. Knowing that this is what I have and it isn’t just a moral failing I need to white knuckle through has been a game changer. Even if I’m not on medication that day, I still have learned the various ADHD tactics to make life easier, and it is…it very much is easier. Additionally, I make sure never shame my kids for any of their conditions or diversities.

2. Going off of ozempic and noticing a distinct difference in impulsivity in many areas of my life. Interestingly, going off ozempic led to greater financial impulsivity, my grades lowering, and my ability to concentrate going down. It was weird. If I could afford it or access it, I’d go back on it in a heartbeat.

   When we looked into it more, a lot of my ways of thinking and some of my struggles for with ADHD and potentially autism quite well. ADHD meds have led to an improvement in many areas of my life.

3. I was a smart kid but struggled a lot in school. In highschool, I nearly flunked out… I approached my doctor to discuss the possibility of my having anxiety, but he said it was likely ADHD. I got put on medication and improved drastically.

   My family didn’t belive me and tried to talk me out of getting help. I thank God I never listened.

4. I got my first job in what should have been a relatively easy place of work and couldn’t for the life in me figure it out. I kept making little mistakes that i shoudldnt have been making and my friend was doing research into it at the time for themselves, so in order to see what the symptoms were and maybe help them with it, I started also looking into it. Every single thing described my life to a tee.

   So, after months of obsessive research, I decided to chase up an assessment and eventually had one. Got diagnosed with it pretty quickly.

5. I struggled all my life but since I was a “gifted student” and excelled in school when I was younger without any effort, no one really noticed anything was up until college. Life got harder and more stressful, and when I had to start studying for the first time in my life I discovered I absolutely could not force myself to focus. Failed a couple classes which was the first time in my life that I made anything below a B. I started putting the pieces together (I had always been super messy, very forgetful, a huge procrastinator, crippling decision paralysis, etc etc). I suspected something was up and after ranting to my regular therapist he referred me to a psychiatrist. Diagnosis process was very simple for me but I know it differs—I literally just had a zoom call with this psychiatrist, she asked me about a billion questions, and at the end diagnosed me with ADHD (and a bonus OCD). Started me on the smallest dosage of ADHD meds (Vyvanse) to see how I would do, and that was that. I upped my dosage for several months before tapering off when I graduated. Now I’m a manager for a small business and find my unmedicated ADHD is actually more of a blessing than a curse in this environment. Learning to work with it and lean into it instead of suppressing it.

6. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 29 but holy hell did it finally explain everything. I actually got diagnosed because I was having a psychotic breakdown trying to be someone I wasn’t, shaming myself for my forgetfulness and lack of executive function. I essentially developed depression because I had ADHD.

   Since the diagnosis I tried meds, 3 different kinds for 2 years and they didn’t really work the way I’d hoped they would + I HATED how insurance would force me to prove I still had ADHD (you know, the thing that’s never going to go away?) every 3 months and lock my meds from me until my psychiatrist finally sent them the peer reviewed proof.

   So I started my no medication no shame accepting me for my ADHD self a year ago and I’ve honestly never felt better.

7. Well I always knew something was different. Then as I got older in college my teacher asked me never thought anything of it. Fast forward 6 years my coworker told me to go ask my doctor about it. I was diagnosed fairly quickly after that.

8. I was in grad school for psych and had an oh shit moment when we did our section on adhd. I brushed off my suspicions because I didn’t want to self diagnose, but one of my professors pulled me aside and asked if I’d ever been evaluated – scheduled the next available appointment and scored off the charts on all their tests.

   The signs were definitely there much earlier but because everyone in my family acted similarly it didn’t flag as abnormal.

9. Teachers in elementary school noticing I couldn’t sit still or calm tf down or do my homework or not be distracted.

10. I was a gifted kid that burned out in middle school. When I was in community college, I noticed that I had a hard time focusing on tests if there was any noise. Things were a lot more laid back and sometimes students would chat with the professor after the test. I looked into it and noticed that I checked off a substantial number of boxes. It wasn’t until my longtime psychiatrist ghosted all of his clients and I got assigned a replacement that there was any interest in investigating into it. So, 7 1/2 to 8 years after I noticed there was a problem. It took even longer after a diagnosis to get put on medication.

    I got diagnosed at 27. My older brother was diagnosed as a child. He had an IEP to help. I didn’t. I didn’t have symptoms. I was lazy and had personal failings.

11. I stumbled on an article online about how ADHD symptoms can present differently in women and girls and are often missed. I was startled at how many of them applied to me. I asked my doctor if I could be screened and she referred me to a psychologist. The diagnosis explained so much—I had really struggled in college and in my career and felt like a failure in so many ways.

12. Well it was pretty much smooth sailing in my life as I’m pretty high functioning and can compensate a lot. Then I got an autoimmune disease, which lead to lots of fatigue when flaring. And without having the extra energy for my compensation mechanisms, it kind of… crumbled. Not like very badly, but I just noticed that I was expending so much energy on compensating for my lack of executive functioning, that I just ended up having no energy any more for stuff I needed and wanted to do.

    I was seeing a psychologist before anyway, I talked about it, she referred me to a colleague who specialized in adult ADHD, I ended up being diagnosed, went on meds, and it’s pretty ok ever since. So not too many struggles with the process, fortunately.

13. I was diagnosed in 2nd grade and then my parents never really did anything about it. I wasn’t hyperactive, but I struggled really badly with staying focused.

    My second grade teacher told them to have me tested from things she saw me do and struggle with in school.

    I would sit in school and zone out for hours. Things got worse in high school when we were supposed to be more independent.

    I struggled really badly in math. I would zone out, or feel like I wasn’t comprehending something and since math is a building block I would miss formulas or things we were supposed to memorize and I started failing.

    My parents would scream and yell but they never got me a tutor, never sat down to help with homework, and never even emailed a teacher. It was all my fault and I was the bad person for not “trying”

    I struggled in other classes with remembering assignments and procrastinating. I would think an assignment would only take so long to do, overwhelm myself, and then it was half assed and not good work.

    The only classes I did good in were the ones that interested me. So I had A’s in some classes and F’s in others.

    Adult life was hard because I struggled with time blindness, procrastination, I would shut down when to overwhelmed, and I made a mess of my life from 18-22 before I finally matured a bit, got into therapy, and recognized I needed to make some changes.

14. I’ve always struggled with staying focused, daydreaming constantly that I lose time, taking so long to do assignments and tests than “normal”, etc. Honestly I thought my symptoms meant I was stupid. I constantly compared myself to my peers and was hard on myself. I didn’t see a psychiatrist until college, when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I didn’t take meds then because I didn’t want to be dependent on them, but I regret doing that because I would’ve performed better in school if I had. It wasn’t until I started a grad program, living on my own for the first time in a different state that my symptoms worsened. I really couldn’t function well and had a bad first semester grade wise. After that I saw a different psychiatrist and a psychologist, both diagnosed me with ADHD. I started taking meds and I functioned wayyy better. Learning about my condition has explained SO MUCH of my habits, especially the ones that aren’t commonly known as ADHD. I’m not ashamed of having it, it’s just that my brain is wired differently. But I wish I saw someone much earlier so that I could’ve managed my symptoms better and done better in school.

15. I struggled hard in school. Like bad bad lol. I had an overwhelming urge to get up out of my seat at any time. Anytime I knew I had to sit for a long period of time, I’d have anxiety knowing I don’t know if I can commit to sitting that long lol. If people made noise around me, I’m so quick to pay attention to the noise or movement it’s so distracting. I also have bad emotional regulation. I go from 0 to 100 in emotions and I didn’t know why!!

    Also, the testing process was 4 hours long. Lots of tests.

16. I was actually diagnosed in middle school because I would fail the majority of my classes. Part of that could be contributed to a very chaotic home life (housing and food insecurity, DV, parental substance use). I was prescribed medication to help, but my parents didn’t ‘believe in medication’ and likely sold it. I also think that they wanted me to be ‘normal’.
    I am very prone to disassociating. I used to get yelled at for walking too fast, talking too much, chewing on straws, constantly losing things like homework. Now i seem to be unable to keep up with anything. I’m always tired. Occasionally i would do my homework but just not turn it in. I ‘had sooo much potential if I could just apply myself!’ I found it incredibly difficult to keep and maintain friendships and I was bullied a lot.
    Fast forward to nearly 30 and I still have (imo) major issues. I finally found a psychiatrist and was re-diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety. I absolutely hate driving on the freeway. I’ve always struggled with maintaining interest in things. I’ve struggled with employment, having multiple bosses ask in some capacity if I’ve ever had an IEP (individual education plan) or if I’m just stupid. Frequently, I’ve been told I’m like a deer in the headlights. I’ve tried taking classes to maybe help myself find an interest I can translate into a job. That’s just 14k+ in debt.
    I’m trying to move forward and find ways to accommodate myself. My goal is to actually live, not just survive.

17. Was diagnosed in childhood at the age of 6.

    Never really understood what adhd was until later. Was told I had mild adhd, so I never took it really seriously until later in life when it started affecting me more and needed medication.

    To me it caused a lot of trouble at school, I had a hard time paying attention in class and living up to expectations. Everything just seemed so painfully hard.

18. I was diagnosed a few years ago at 28. My ex-girlfriend had a good friend get diagnosed with ADHD in their early 20s. When she and i moved in together, she noticed that I struggled with a lot of similar things as her friend – primarily time blindness, and getting overwhelmed by things that required multi-step planning (for example if I was going somewhere that required taking the subway and then transferring to the bus, it became way too much stress, whereas just the bus or just the train was totally achievable).

    She encouraged me to bring it up with my therapist. I was hesitant at first but I did some research online, and as I learned more about how ADHD often presents in women, I was constantly having my mind blown like “wait, is that not a normal thing that everyone experiences!?” It seemed like it explained EVERYTHING that I struggled with. Thankfully, my therapist was super knowledgeable about ADHD, and pointed me to an extremely helpful psychiatrist.

    My ex and I split up a few months after my diagnosis, but we’re still pals, and I’m honestly SO grateful that she pushed me to pursue this. My mental health is drastically better now that I’m medicated and now that I understand that my struggles with executive function are not a moral failure, but because my brain works differently than most people’s.

19. My brother had it, and I was constantly spacing out in school so they tested me and concluded that I had it as well. Put me on Ritalin but it didn’t keep me from spacing out so they gave up. As an adult I was diagnosed with childhood-onset PTSD and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

    1985 was not a good time to be a kid with developmental disabilities.

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21. I related too much to videos on TikTok. Read into it and got a referral to a psychiatrist who tested me with the Diva-interview and said ADHD-C.

22. I got diagnosed when I was in 3rd grade with add… was never really in the room with people and always in my own world

23. I was irrationally impulsive, started tasks but could never complete them. I would study so hard and work with tutors but when testing came around, it was like I had forgotten everything I had learned. I was disorganized and constantly losing things/forgetting them. My doctor noticed my lack of engagement and being distracted during an appointment and referred me to testing. I was 14yo when diagnosed.

24. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 31. I was always a pretty smart kid and was in gifted classes, but also struggled with homework and organization. Worked as a bartender for 9 years, which is a job pretty much made for people with ADHD. Always suspected I had ADHD though, both my dad and my brother have it. Decided to get an office job, struggled HARD with it. Started to ask myself “am I just bad at being an adult or is there something wrong with me?” Went to a psychiatrist and was told I definitely had ADHD and would benefit from medication and therapy. Started on Wellbutrin because I don’t trust myself with Adderall, and HOLY SHIT it is so much easier to do things now. I’m not perfect or cured but getting things done is no longer a giant source of stress and anxiety for me.

25. I was in college. Top of my class. Hit my head really bad and after my concussion healed I could no longer focus anymore or stay still. Like dead on stereotype adhd symptoms, my doctor said it was acquired from my concussion. Went from an A student to a C student overnight practically. I’m medicated so its a lot better now but I miss the way things were before. Obviously my school troubles were a result of how my brain doesn’t function as well more than it was adhd, but me noticing my grades led to me writing out a list of my problems for my doc and adhd just happened to be one of the things I now struggle with.

26. I got diagnosed two years ago. An ex had it, and noticed that I did a lot of the things he did before he was diagnosed. When I was finally able to talk to someone about it, she completely agreed, and said she knew the moment I walked in. I was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 14, and she said that was wrong, it was just ADHD. I got medicated, and my whole world changed. Everything that seemed hard became simple, I understood more about myself. I thought I just had an addictive personality (Going a month putting BBQ sauce on everything because I loved the taste, watching the same shows over and over because I couldn’t get enough of the characters, random things like that).

    I was one of the gifted kids at school until 8th grade and almost flunked out. No one ever knew. My parents are older and were raised thinking that ADHD was only for boys. It was life changing.