me (31m) and my wife (27f) lets call her Jade for the sake of this post.
We’ve been together since 2012, we have 2 little girls together who are both 100% mine. Born in 2013 and 2015.
In September 2016 My wife went through abit if past natal depression and ended up becoming good friends with a friend of mine, James. James was a nice enough guy. Didn’t work but was always there when you needed him and trustworthy, or so i thought..
my wife started going out on long walks with the dog etc and I started to get suspicious when she started becoming super protective over her phone.
She said it was to clear her mind and just have some time alone and away from the kids. Which i completely respected. Then one day she mentioned that James was going with her. I played it cool but my heart was racing with anxiety.
A couple days later i woke up at around 4am and curiosity got the better of me and i noticed she left her phone on charge on the worktop instead of under her pillow like she had been doing the last few weeks.
So i started reading through the messages between them. I found out they had been having an affair behind my back, but the messages clearly stated that they had only kissed/made out and hadn’t had sex etc. i was sat there for 3-4 hours reading through them and screenshotting them to send to myself.
I confronted my wife with the evidence and eventually she broke down and admitted everything. I moved out after having a heated debate with James outside his house at 7am with him refusing to open his front door.
I went to stay at my mums, heart broken thinking i had lost my wife and my kids.
But after only 2-3 hours Jade rang me, crying and asked me to go for a chat. I accepted. She apologised and we made up.
Fast forward to December 2023 and we are still together, married etc and our 2 girls are growing up.
But the whole situation still sometimes plays on my mind? We no longer speak to James since i chased him off but everytime i hear that name i get flashbacks. I trust my wife again. To the point where i never question what shes doing or who she is with. But am i over it? I honestly don’t know.
I wouldn’t have forgiven her if they had sex together. Is kissing cheating? Is it bad i still think about it 7 years later? Please help.