Original post:
My(M27) sister (F29) thinks she caught me cheating with my wife’s (F25) girlfriend (F26). My family will not understand their relationship. How do I explain this to my family without them seeing my wife differently?
byu/ThrowRA_mywifeherGF inrelationship_advice
Okey I’ve read the comments and before I post the update let me address a few thing.
Yes, I’ve put some info that is irrelevant. Like my built and that I’m autistic. I used to be the fat kid that got bullied and did not understand that my brain worked different then other people. Yes the math part is cool, but there are other things that you easily understand and I can not comprihent.
Sorry for being proud of my change over the years. And like a dork I mentioned it even if it had nothing to do with what happened.
Also when Rachel met Sophie and made the move on her, she was unaware that Sophie was married. She thought it would just be a casual hookup and nothing more.
**Now for the update.**
My Mother called Sophie and she responded with “Mom, I know why you’re calling. It is not what you think it is and we’ll explain some other time. Now tell everyone to stop harassing your son, he did nothing wrong”
Rachel stayed the night in the guest bedroom. That night the three of us had a talk. Unbeknown to us, Rachel has had her own trauma with a homewrecker. Her parentss divorced and her mother was trauma dumping on her daughter. There is more but lets leave it at that.
This is why Rachel was soo upset when Emily verbally attacked her.
Sophie told Rachel that she would understand if she wanted to break up now. Rachel wanted to try to fix things before throwing in the towel.
The next morning at breakfast we were talking about what to do now. Sophie thought it was time to come out to my family. They have been her only family for the last 5 years.
We decided to invite my parents and sister over to have the conversation. Rachel wanted to be by Sophie’s site when she came out.
So in the afternoon my parents and sister came over. My dad was quiet, if you know him, that’s not good. Mom was crying and Emily was cussing at me.
As soon as she say Rachel she wanted to approach her. I know my sister and how aggresive she can be so I made sure I was standing between her and Rachel at all times. Which thinking back might have send the wrong message. Emily is afraid of nothing and nobody but she also knows she can not get past me if I don’t want her to.
Sophie is a godsend, she was able to get everyone to calm down, sit down and listen.
She told them everything. My parents were already aware of the emotional abuse she got int he church, but not to what extent.
Sophie told them about her having to hide who she was, her sexuality. What happend at the big event, the trouble we had because of how she reacted afterwards. My suggestion for the one-sided open marriage. She took Rachel’s hand and said they have been in a relationship for 6 months. I added with my blessing.
Emily started accusing Sophie of cheating and that is when I lost it. I yelt at her that this is our marriage, nobody cheated. This is the way we are happy. She doesn’t have to understand it, but she has to accept it. I’m not sure Emily is convinced and on board, especially after what happened later.
I had to explain to my mother a few times that Sophie and I are not breaking up, and that Sophie is in a relationship with two people. I’m still not sure she understands, but at least she is not angry anymore.
Dad asked a few questions. I had to explain that my relationship with Rachel is platonic but we are close. As soon as he cracked a corny joke I knew we were good.
Then we had to explain what happened the day before and why I was alone with Rachel who was topless sunbathing at my pool.
When we came to the part where Emily walked in my mother asked her a question. Why did she walk in unannounced? We gave her a key in case of an emergency, not to casually walk in whenever she wanted. Turned out Emily sometimes “visited” our home when we were away to “borrow” a bottle of wine. (Sophie and I have one car, if it’s not in the driveway on a Saturday it usually means nobody is home). After hearing that the key went from Emily to Rachel.
tl;dr
Told my parents and sister about my wife’s poly relationship and have them meet her girlfriend
So Dad is cracking jokes again, which means we’re good.
Mom is still a bit confused, but is trying to understand.
Emily was still angry but she doesn’t know who she is angry with.