I’ve (23NB) been with my boyfriend for a year, we live together. For the past few months, we’ve been having less intimacy (sex, hugs, kisses, talking), which hurts me.
When we talked about it, he told me he wasn’t feeling great because of winter depression and that he wanted to go see a therapist. I was supportive of that and I waited. Until today, when we talked again.
He told me that after all he didn’t want to see a therapist because he wasn’t depressed, just tired all the time.
He said « it is like it is» : it’s just who he is now, and its gonna be worse because he’s gonna take a new job soon
Sadly, it affects our relationship. We don’t have sex anymore, we don’t talk or laugh like we used to. Even cuddling is an effort to him ; the only thing he has the energy to do is play video games. He told me he just wanted to disappear and rest (but he assures me he’s not depressed nor suicidal)
To me, it looks like the beginning of an autistic burnout (we are both autistic and I know what it looks like) and he’s in denial. To me, it’s not normal to be tired all the time.
But he said he was content like that. (it’s also in his nature to never ask for help, never complain)
Is it possible I’m right and he’s in denial ? Or is it really who he is now and I have to deal with this new version of him ? I don’t want a relationship where we barely talk. Am I asking too much? What should I do ?
TLDR : i think my boyfriend is in autistic burnout, bc he is too tired for everything and our relationship has completely changed. but he says it’s just who he is now. what should I do?