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Edit: Not very long distance, about <3 hours by train/drive. It’s the same country but different cities
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Eating her pussy regularly will grant you plenty of leeway.
Cook for her, make her laugh, make her comfortable, make her feel sexy, and her panties are halfway down.
Clean the house, watch the kids, flirt all day, cook some more, do some laundry, eat her pussy….all great after the wedding.
Never fart in front of your date, wait for her to look the other way so you can blame it on someone else.
Not everyone is going to be into you, and that’s okay.
Be chill
Don’t waste your money.
Don’t ask her out.
Plan to do something and ask her to join you. If she declines or is unavailable, do it anyway.
Confidence is the most important thing. Being in shape and having a good job mean nothing if you have no confidence
If she is making it hard to see her, make plans with her or sending mixed signals, you should just move on instead of continuing to try.
No means no.
Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Take care of your garden and the butterflies will come.
Don’t get attached early. First dates are meet and greets, nothing more. More women will not be interested then interested.
Specific to online dating assuming you are at least somewhat attractive relative to the average male its a numbers game more then anything else.
To start with I am a millennial and maybe I don’t understand what the cool kids are doing today but I’ve been cruising around this thread for awhile and I just thought I would share what I have learned in my time. People seem to be really struggling out there and maybe this will help. With that being said I hope I don’t offend anyone, I imagine all this applies to all types of people and I am just sharing from my perspective.
I’m going to skip anything about hygiene, overwhelming narcissism, not being able to pay for your share of the date, having a suspended license, already being married, and just assume you are a normal person for the purposes of this article.
Women are people just like you, we are all just people.
Never go to a movie as a first date. What a terrible idea, who on Earth made that a thing I will never know. Probably movie theaters. Why would you do something where you can’t talk to the other person?
How women are used to being approached depends a lot on what part of the country you are in,(I’m American). If you are on the west coast women tend to be a lot more empowered and are more likely to ask you out, pick the spot for the date, I’ve even had women insist on paying (like REALLY insist). In the south women tend to expect men to drive the date a little more and that is fine, just remember to be considerate of the other person’s time and what they want to do. In the mid-west it tends to be pretty level ground. In the north east women tend to be more direct.
Never ask a women out in a place she can’t get away from you. This is super important. I don’t care where it is, if she is at work, you are both in the same POW camp, if she can’t walk away then you are putting someone in a really uncomfortable position. You can easily turn what would have been a yes into a no and really ruin someone’s day or shift. Its just really rude.
Ask the women what she likes to do, this is a great life hack because most people will just tell you. Its not a trick.
Pay for the date. I would say in general whoever askes the other person out should pay but in the most of the country women will be expecting you to pay for the date. This is just old-school cool, you asked her to hangout with you and you are agreeing to absorb the cost of that. This can be more complex (maybe you are both older, maybe she has made it clear she is paying for herself because her independence is important to her. If she is really insistent on splitting the bill it could be a subtle hint that there won’t be a second date and she is trying to save you a little face. This is on you guys, read the room. I will tell you a secret I learned and that is to make the first date as low-cost as possible. This does you both a few favors. You don’t want to make her feel obligated to you in any kind of way and this really cuts down on that, it allows you to make the gesture of paying out of courtesy rather than creating some sort of $50 or $100 sort of debt the person has to you now. Low-cost dates allow you to be a gent and show you know the rules without making it weird. Its better to create an aura that this could be something you might have casually done on your own but you invited her along because you thought she would enjoy it too. You really want to avoid the vibe that this is some kind of event you have orchestrated for her benefit and you are just putting in work by going to some restaurant or activity that you wouldn’t normally do.
Take her to somewhere you have already been. I have my go-to restaurants that I know are good. Spots that I know are cool to hangout or do stuff because I have been there multiple times. I cannot stress this enough, you really don’t want to be trying out a place or activity for the first time on a first date, this is a huge wildcard. If there is a specific reason you are doing something that you haven’t checked out before then make it very clear that you are both exploring this for the first time. At least if things go badly you both knew there was a risk. Other than improving your chances of having an enjoyable time you are doing her the service of inviting her somewhere you knew was fun rather than experimenting with someone else’s time.
Always make sure the option of leaving at any time is readily available to both of you. Do not share a ride.
Compliment her when you first see her. This person almost certainly put extra effort in their appearance so pick a thing. It is super important that it is something she has control over and not something about her physically. Maybe earrings or her top or something else she chose. Everything she is wearing/carrying she picked on purpose so you will be validating a decision she made in a small way. People really appreciate that so just pick something you like, it can really be anything, music she is listening to when you walk up, a thing she is doing, just pick a thing. You can totally do this with anyone, friends, family, co-workers, people love it.
Do not radically change yourself before the date. Don’t be shaving your beard or getting a dramatic haircut or wear clothes you wouldn’t normally wear. Wear your favorite clothes and if that is not dressy enough than you are doing something too formal for a first date. To clarify you favorite going out and about clothes, don’t be looking like you are doing laundry.
Listen to what she says. At least on a subconscious level she is probably telling you things she thinks you should know, like what she does, what she likes, that she has a crazy ex that is waiting in the parking lot, you know, important stuff. So listen up.
Stop talking about yourself! Holy cow do people like to talk about themselves, let the other person talk for a change. If you respond to something she says and you somehow make it about yourself than you are doing it wrong. Follow-up questions are way better.
Red flags. You may have your own set of red flags you watch for and that is fine, she does too. What is important to remember is that there are also green flags, we are all a mix of the two. Just know where your lines are and you’ll be fine. I’ll do a separate post about red flags and green flags.
Breaking the touch barrier. There is some really weird and creepy advice out there on this topic so I will try and shed some light. It is acceptable to touch someone when it would be a normal thing to do, like when taking a photo together or dancing or offering a hand or something a normal human would do. Do not reach around a drink someone is handing you to touch their hand or put your hand on someone’s leg you freaking weirdo. If a situation doesn’t arise that you make some kind of physical contact then do not touch that person, forcing it is date suicide and maybe even illegal depending on the context. Understand you should be breaking the touch barrier mutually. It is often absolutely the right call to let her break the touch barrier first, women tend to appreciate you letting them make the first move in this regard. Breaking the touch barrier should be a moment of trust that you share with this person. This is a case where you really just have to read the room.
It’s really hard to tell the noise from the signal, so don’t take most of it personally and keep playing the numbers
Keep it washed.
If it’s not a “hell yes”, it’s a no.
Hygiene. Take care of yourself, and everyone will notice. Moisturize, clip your nails, smile, be well kept.
Reciprocity. Invest enough, but if she’s not trying, move on. Take the hint. Always stay mature. You have options just like she does, so don’t take it personally when she isn’t enthusiastic.
Conversation. Ask her questions. Find what she’s passionate about, either directly or indirectly. If she isn’t passionate about SOMETHING swipe left, I don’t care how pretty she is.
When you’re on a date, yes, you have to prove yourself to her. But she has to prove herself to you as well. A first date is not a job interview; it’s a contract negotiation.
Remember, this isn’t a one-sided thing.
Also, keep your dates with her as cheap as possible until she proves herself. Stick with having coffee together and getting to know each other.
Just be you. It is either enough or it but saves a lot of time and confusion if you are authentic from the start.
Do not sacrifice your morals, values, and friends to try to get laid. It is not required and usually leads to you having nothing in the end.
Don’t put her on a pedestal, unless per joke and there is an actual pedestal.
learn to kiss please
When on dating app and if you’re the only one asking questions and she doesn’t even ask you 1 question then cut your losses and move on. No point wasting time when they wanna be a bot / emotionless lady.
When she says she’s not ready or not interested in a relationship, always implies *with you*. And then move on. Don’t ever wait for someone. Put your time and energy into someone who matches it.
Get used to talking to everyone, everywhere, any time. Doesn’t mean talk their ear off, but little comments to engage other people here and there go a long way. Then when you have an opportunity to talk to a girl you like, it’ll just be another conversation. It’s also good for you as a person because random conversations are interesting.
The start is 90% looks.
Your happiness is just as important as hers. Be picky.
The only thing that should be a first on a first date is meeting your date. Trying new foods, activities, or going on random adventures are for later in a relationship; at the beginning you’ll look your best if you know what the heck you’re doing.
She’ll respect and desire you more if you tell her no once in a while, rather than be a Yesman because you like her.
Don’t date crazy.
If they like you, or are interested in you, it shouldn’t feel difficult to set up a date / meet.
“I’m sick, something came up, etc” with zero attempts at a reschedule or rain check just means you should move on. People are incredibly flaky now, save your resources and time for those who respect that.
if she plays mind games, if you like her then call her on it and if she continues to play them, drop her ass.
If you aren’t into her, drop her at the start of mind games.
Life is too short to put up with that shit.
Online dating – Most women turn up and don’t look like their pictures
Protect your time and investment like a dutchess in the 1800’s protects her virginity.
There is not real replacement for getting fit and working on how you look. If you aren’t doing well in that department, putting a lot of effort in other areas represents a lot of wasted effort.
Straighten up your house and definitely clean your bathroom before meeting because you never know. If it doesn’t go that far, atleast your house is clean
Don’t get her used to things you don’t plan on doing in the relationship.
Don’t give her flowers if you know you don’t usually do that. Don’t pretend you are super fit and do sports all the time because she may like it. Don’t plan surprises if you don’t want to do that when you’re five years into the relationship.
I get wanting to impress and wanting to look the best. But be fair and don’t let her fall in love with someone you’re not.
Life isn’t fair, don’t expect dating to be.
Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s fine.
Don’t be embarrassed about your hobbies. You play Warhammer 40k? Cool, say exactly what it is and why you enjoy it, and say it with confidence.
If you’re finding it extremely difficult to make plans with a girl, you have to continuously start the conversations, etc. just move on.
Something i’ve learned the hard way myself recently. Always be honest. No matter how big or small, just tell the truth. Will save everyone time, headache and heartache.
Stop sending dik pics
dont’ bother, go fire up your xbox/ps/pc instead my dude
Be honest with yourself and the person you’re dating. Compromises will inevitably have to be made, but you’re allowed (and encouraged) to stick to whatever deal-breakers and boundaries you may have.
Carbon dating is only useful for something less than about 60000 years old.
This is for the young guys.
Work on yourself first. Put yourself into a position where your life and body are impressive.
Build a great group of friends. Learn how to be around people.
Once you have accomplished things, women will want to be around you and share the life you have made.
For the older guys.
Never stop dating your significant other. Don’t allow yourself to get into a routine where you essentially become roomates.
If she wanted to she would. Women don’t make it difficult for men they like
Just be yourself and No means No.
I understand that this is an ask men sub, but this question seems like answers from some women could be helpful to the heterosexual crowd, so here are some tips from a woman in the dating world: if you’re meeting women on an app, be social. Don’t just answer questions that are asked, and don’t respond with one or two words responses if you want their engagement. I have heard complaints that women stop responding altogether or may not be as responsive as you would like, but please also remember that we are inundated with messages on the apps. The guys who actually put effort into their messages are the ones who set them themselves apart. The other thing that I really wish that guys would remember when making the move from dating apps and texting communication to meeting in person, is not to be so pushy about it. If a woman doesn’t want to make in-person plans right away, it does not automatically mean she’s not interested in doing so or blowing you off. And as some men will insinuate if there’s hesitancy to meet, we don’t want to be your “pen pal” either. We want to feel safe. Women have to vet men differently than men do with women. It’s just a fact. There are of course women who will have a brief conversation and say yes let’s meet for a drink or coffee or whatever, and that’s totally okay if that’s what they’re comfortable with, but there are also women who are cautious because of their own personal experiences, or because quite frankly meeting a man off the Internet is scary at the end of the day. I know some men will kick back and say well you can’t really tell if you have a real connection until you meet in person, and sometimes that is true, but I also think that you need to look at the bigger picture and think about if texting over the course of a week or two is really that big of a delay, and if it is, you might just be a little impatient. If you’re really interested in meeting someone, it’s worth the wait to make them feel comfortable so when they do get to meet you they can relax and enjoy themselves. Lastly, women like confidence so even if you’re not confident about them liking you, being confident in yourself and knowing who you are and the things that you like is really attractive! Happy dating!
This sounds kinda funny, but I’ve heard so many times from women where they judge you based on the cleanliness of your bathroom, and it can be a make or break.
Women that want to make you “pursue” them are RARELY worth all the bullshit they put you through.