Men who suffered in silence, after losing a person who you thought would never leave you, how did you cope?

18 comments

1. I became a slut.
   It was not a great experience in many ways but I also learned that I am still wanted and it was her loss.

   Overall, what I needed is to learn that I am awesome and that I wasn’t the one to lose her but she was the one who lost me.
   The person who she is and the person who she was in my mind were not the same person

2. Time heals, hang in there! I experienced a heartbreak with a girlfriend a long time ago. It came out of nowhere, I thought things were going really well and then she broke up with me over the phone one day. I really struggled with it at the time. After I got over it, I didn’t feel nostalgic or anything. I appreciated the time we had but I was totally over being in love with her. We met up years later and had a really nice chat over coffee.

   I also went through a divorce, we were together for 10 years. We both wanted to split and it was very civil. But it was still so so hard, I doubted myself and even wanted to get back together while we were in the process of separating. Glad we didn’t, the relationship ran its course and I’m so happy we didn’t have kids. We kept in touch over the years.

   Try to concentrate on yourself and try to establish some new healthy routines (gym, meditating, hiking or even just going for a walk). Maybe pick up a new hobby, like photography or painting. It can be very therapeutic.

3. The only person who will never leave you is yourself. My cope was learning that and embracing it. You can’t explain other people’s actions all the time, you can’t force the world to do what you want. But you have total control and freedom over yourself, and you have a perfect insider view as to why you do what you do.

   I am satisfied with who I am and what I do now, and all the other people in the world can come or go as they please because they’ll never bring me the comfort and satisfaction of being happy with myself.

4. Happened twice. Many hard nights and self reflection. It’s rough as hell but if you come out on the other side you’re much stronger for it. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it really changes your perspective on many things.

5. I’m 4 months in, and I’m just getting out of it. It is all.my fault though, for sure.

6. Yoga classes, the. Just tried to get laid

7. I’d say it took me about 25 years to properly get over, where it wasn’t still on mind often and causing me sadness, distress

8. For a while, it felt like I was just trying to make it through the next hour. The heartache and having to accept your new reality is a lot to overcome. I spent a lot of time alone, trying to focus on other things to challenge my mind and body with hard exercise. If I did nothing, my anxiety would eat me alive. It’s cliche but this quote (“day by day nothing changes, but pretty soon everything’s different”) is pretty spot on. Every day is an uphill battle, it’s one step at a time. Then one day without even thinking about it, you’ll look back and realize you’ve made it pretty damn far without the person you thought you couldn’t live without.

9. I sat down and wrote down all the things I’ve put off because of a relationship. Then I started doing those things.

10. The club

11. Work and exercise. A lot.

    Tried dating again after 3 months.

12. Seek someone out, if possible

13. Time heals all, but only when you fill that time with new experiences. My new experiences taught me that I was still valuable in the eyes of so many people, and that I still had so much to see/do. It’s hard, and some days I do slip back in thought, but I just keep focusing on new things. It’s better to be excited for something new tomorrow than to be depressed over something that happened yesterday.

14. At least you’re not in my shoes. Covid took my wife. Always figured it would be me to go first. So now I am 2 years out. Trying to figure out the dating concept again. Back then it was easy to just walk up to someone at Blockbuster and talk about a movie. Yea I am old. But I watch tv, play Xbox, read lots of books, and go to the shooting range. During the day I have my work friends. But the evening I have to entertain myself. I try not to dwell on the heartbreak and sadness. It comes and goes. But in the end we each come up with a way to live without them.

15. You just live with it. That’s all

16. I threw myself into my work and hobbies, kept busy.

17. Still struggling years later but life goes on and have to continue living

18. I worked on myself and replaced her with someone way better.