Okay, so I’ve[25F] been in a relationship with this guy[26M] for 9 months now and since it’s my first relationship, I have some doubts : I feel like relationships are worthless.
Physically, we are completely compatible but I feel some things are lacking.
First of all, we only spend weekends together, so why should he be a big part of my life if the time spent together is less than 48 hours of the week?
Also, since the beginning of the relationship, I’ve been the one planning most of the stuff we do, whenever he’s at my place, I provide everything for him to be comfortable but it’s never the same when I visit him. I get tickets to parcs and stuff, payed for a bunch of restaurants, but received nothing in return. Am I overdoing it?
I am really confused to what are relationships for? If I’m only spending energy and money on someone who’s unavailable most of the time, what am I gaining from it?
Help me please understand what I should be expecting from a relationship because I don’t see the merit.
7 comments
You two need to sit down and talk about your relationship and what and how you feel about it and what you want from your relationship with your bf.
Ditch him, he’s putting zero effort in and getting a free ride.
First of all, why is he unavailable all the time?
Oh hun, you shouldn’t be so extra. Yea sure, you can go to restaurants or parcs and stuff, but for the most part you both should just find time to spend together. It shouldn’t matter where you go or what you do, just that you both do it and WANT to do it together.
If you’re in a relationship and you spend so little time together chances are someone here doesn’t want to spend time with the other.
I’d say consider breaking up cause I think you both deserve something more.
Slow down your pace and communicate it to him the reasons why you feel this way and I see what your saying which is totally understandable since it seems like your partner isn’t giving the same energy and effort that you’re investing.
Now, for me relationships are all about compromising and adjusting to the others comfortability but not to the extent that you feel negelcted and need to change yourself. Communicate with him and see how he responds, if his response is unsure or bland or he doesn’t invest any effort after that conversation it is best to conclude you’re not getting anything else other than what he is giving you even before the conversation.
Buuuuuuuut, on the other hand it is your 1st relationship and it’s already like that. I personally would have already broken up with them and spend time with people who I feel appreciate me more and just get another partner or just flirt around.
And to answer your question about relationships, they can give you a sense of comfort and security, fun memories, assurance, personal growth and just overall companionship. Like a bestfriend except you have romance in it.
Okay, last edit scratch the communication if you do everything for him and get nothing in return other than a little intimacy then screw him. Go out and meet some lovely people that will definitely treat you better. I mean come on you guys are already in your late 20’s!
Not all relationships are worthless. But this one sounds like it’s awfully one-sided.
Sounds like he’s just a dick tbh