When me [22] and my girlfriend [22] have sex it isnt usually directly initiated by either one of us,one thing just leads to another etc. Its like this most of the time. Sometimes I initiate sex with my girlfriend and vice versa.
I feel horrible and pathetic for feeling like this but I am in need of advice so here goes:
Whenever I try to initiate sex with her and she turns me down, it affects my mood way more than it should. My stomach drops, i start shaking, blushing and sweating, i feel intense shame. Of course I try to direct these feelings inwards but sometimes i just cant. I just feel uncomfortable/ashamed around her after shes turned down my advances. Sometimes i even have to leave to go cry when this happens. Its not even that she’s insensitive about it, she just lets me know she’s not in the mood and thats it.
Also just to be clear: I’ve never pushed her to have sex with me once she’s told me no. Obviously. Its not fun if its not fun for the both of us.
I just feel so many intense emotions when she rejects my advances. I feel ashamed, hurt, embarrassed…
I don’t want her to feel like she owes me sex… the thought of that even disgusts me. How do i hide these feelings from her? How do i bottle this up?