To introduce you guys my story. I (23F) recently fell for a fwb (28M).
We were introduced by mutual friends with the sole purpose of getting laid.
He stated before even meeting me that he is not looking for a relationship because it is “too much”.
TBH I also enjoyed casual relationships here and there and just didn’t think too much of it.
First time we met he was bluntly honest with me. So many confessions just out of the blue bombing my head. “I have bad credits””Do you mind if I do drugs””I have a lot of side chics”etc… What’s funny is he treats the waiters really nicely, and imagine someone saying those lines above. You must think he’s bragging or something. He actually said it in a straight face with his calm voice. Then I knew he genuinely just don’t gives a fuck about a lot of things and nothing much affects him inside. Just all the heavy topics he says with a straight face, like once our condom broke and I asked for plan B. He got me one but at the same time he just calmly says “I don’t see a point I never wore condom with my ex and she never got pregnant maybe my sperms they don’t work you know.” In my head it felt like a plane crash but it almost felt like he was stating someone else’s story, words were light like that.
We met three times in total. The more I knew him the more info I got. He likes threesome. He asks me if he can invite me to a threesome, totally cool if I’m not ok with that. Imagine someone looking like a total gentleman and yet just only trash coming out of his mouth, that’s basically that. The thing is after all this I still fell for him and I’m so full of self-disgust.
This has heavily affected me. I became paranoid, constantly questioning myself how low of a point I hit to fall for this kind of person? He says we’re not fwb no more, we met three times and he normally does ons. And blah blah we are lovers. Can you cook for me he asked. I was like umm, why? I’m not your girlfriend. He says something like can’t you cook for your fuck buddy? Again in my head it was like an air crash.
And yet I STILL FELL FOR HIM. What’s wrong with me? He’s not even that good in bed. He has big temper. Everybody can tell from my post that he does not have a sense of responsibility. IDK if he can feel that I caught feelings. But last time we met I had something to deal with he asked me twice if I wanted him to leave and I said its up to you. He looked at me and said “you’re stubborn”. Stubborn as in what? As in I’m not giving in to my feelings? My head is a constant chaos every second I like him I’m hardly judging myself. We can never be a couple I know that I know it’s only going to be a dead-end road. So maybe I just like the pain? Maybe I say I don’t wanna always be the type of girls guys ask to see in the night time but maybe that’s just where I belong to? Maybe I say I hate being read like an open book but when his sharp eyes make me feel naked I actually enjoy it???
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I hope someone can help explain to me what is going on here.
I’m just trying to sort through these huge pile of trash in my mind.
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