Hi guys, I’m having a pretty big crisis about this situation and I need some objective advice here. I genuinely don’t know if it’s beyond repair and I should leave or if it’s not as bad as I think it is.
I (f22) have been with my boyfriend (m23) for two years now, and about a week ago was his work Christmas party where they went out for dinner. At 10pm I texted him goodnight and he replied that he was home, then after maybe 20ish minutes he replied again, apologised for the time gap between the texts, that he “just had a quick shower”. I normally don’t have any reason to mistrust him but his do not disturb turns on automatically at his house and it wasn’t on, so I called him. Long story short, he was drunk and at the clubs, he then immediately hung up and turned his phone off.
The next morning I asked him to tell me the truth and he said they did karaoke (which they did) he didn’t mention the clubs until I pretended his mate’s girlfriend told me everything. His reasoning for lying was that he didn’t want to worry me / make me angry and that he was going to tell me the truth about it.
I feel sick to my stomach about this and I don’t know how many times before this has happened if ever, and if he truly plans to be honest with me from now on. There was a tiny issue a while back where he told me his uni study group didn’t have girls and they never hung out, however I found out both were not true.
I genuinely want him to spend time with his friends and idc if his study group hangs out, I don’t understand why he keeps lying. He says he just doesn’t want to make me jealous or worry.
My sister says to leave him but my friends say he loves me and it was just a mistake. So please help let me know what this situation looks like objectively and if it’s worth staying and repairing. I’m at such a complete loss.
I forgot to mention, when we were texting goodnight I briefly asked for reassurance about one of his coworkers who make me insecure and he reassured me (his friend thinks she has a thing for my boyfriend and flirts with him, my boyfriend disagrees) well the idea that she was next to him getting drunk with him while he lied to me about where he was / what he was doing makes me so uncomfortable.
TLDR: boyfriend lied about being at home when he was actually out clubbing, omitted the truth again in the morning, said he always planned on telling me the truth later on and has a history of lying about similar things. Should I stay or should I go?