I’ve been struggling with a lot of mental health and emotional stuff and a lot of what’s been helping is therapy, quiet time alone (I’m an introvert) and making progress on my various projects.
I was messaged yesterday by someone who really wants to spend time with me and I know I’m not up for it. They’re an extrovert in one of the most extreme senses of the word. Mutual contacts who are also introverts call them a social vampire and that’s exactly what it feels like. They get very emotional if you run out of energy while being with them even though they can be very draining.
I love them for many reasons but they’re either a small dose contact or someone I have to budget energy for and I know I just don’t have it. But this is the second time they’ve reached out recently to meet up and I’m looking for a polite way to excuse myself.
They also knew my abusive ex before I did and sometimes it’s hard to get through an outing without my ex coming up and I’m having a very hard time processing my trauma at it is. I don’t have the ability to deal with that potential right now, especially this close to the holidays.
How do I let down someone who wants to spend time together to get off the hook for a while when their idea of providing comfort is a social exchange and I don’t have the energy for them right now? If I simply say I’m not feeling well they’ll try to smother me with their version of love.
Thanks!