Recently I had made a post elsewhere sharing how happy I was about the very wholesome dynamic I have with my fwb. I never thought about there being deeper feelings that could get hurt on either side, it all seemed casual to me, but many people seemed to think there is probably feelings on his side that could get hurt judging by the way he treats me. I thought he’s simply a nice guy, but because I do like him as a person, I do worry a bit now and would like some more opinions on whether I’d probably need to have a talk to him about it.
About the situation:
We started going on dates over 2 months ago and at first serious intentions were an option. After a few dates I realised that our humor just doesn’t match enough and due to our age gap, we are in very different places in life and it shows, so I couldn’t imagine a serious relationship with him. I told him that and said that I do like spending time with him and find him very attractive, so I’d like to still see him casually if he’s down. He said he felt the same way and agreed.
Since then we see each other a little less frequently but still regularly. We do always have sex, but we also cuddle, watch movies and have dinner together.
What can I say, he’s just a really thoughtful guy. He always notices immediately if I feel any discomfort or pain during sex and fixes it. He’s also very affectionate and gives me lots of forehead kisses etc.
When I recently had unexpected last bits of my period coming through while we had sex it didn’t bother him and he still made sure to take care of me during foreplay and found a more comfortable non messy way to have sex if I wanted to and asked me about my cramps and how I was feeling and reassured me it was all good cause I was a bit embarrassed. He didn’t try to cut the date short after that eventhough it was late, we still ordered food and cuddled on the couch until he was so tired he fell asleep briefly before he gave me a ride home.
He also often tells me that if I ever have trouble getting home after a party or am just too tired (I live in a rural area while he lives in a city where my college parties usually are) I can call him any hour of the night and crash at his place and explicitly says he doesn’t expect sex, he just wants me to be able to go out and have fun without worrying about getting home.
We take genuine interest in each other’s lives and enjoy catching up when we see each other. From my perspective, we just like each other as people on top of being sexually attracted to each other, but on my post people seemed to think this is more bf behaviour than casual behaviour so his feelings could get hurt.
Is this really not something people would casually do with a fwb? Do I need to adresss this with him
Tldr: My fwb is very sweet and caring towards me and appearently this doesn’t look like “casual behaviour” on his part. Is it really not normal for fwb to treat each other that way? Do I need to adress it with him so he doesn’t get his feelings hurt?