I’m dating a guy, but we’re not boyfriend girlfriend, we’re in the going on dates stage, but we also sleep over at each others places.
We’ve been talking about getting into a relationship in the future. We met through a co-ed soccer club we are both a part of.
The issue is, he can be super insensitive. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it but it makes me feel really put down and it’s building up. If bring up a comment he made he’s apologetic and doesn’t make excuses for himself. But I feel like I’ve got these mixed signals. Over break, he’s been sending me ONE text a day. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he’s just a slow texter in general but I can’t help but feel forgotten about.
After winter break (we’re both in college) I want to sit down with him and have a big talk about what I need to feel cared for and the comments he makes. I just sometimes don’t know if the things he does is because is due to little emotional intelligence (he’s admitted this about himself I swear I’m not trying to be mean) or if he really doesn’t think I matter.
Example- at the beginning of our relationship he said if things didn’t work out we could be friends with benefits (I’m a virgin so I found this really insensitive). I just don’t think that’s something you say to someone you’re interested in.
Another example- another guy, X, emotionally hurt me, and the guy l’m dating said he would feel differently towards X if it happened to him but it’s different because it happened to me.
I like him a lot but he’s really hurt me. I really don’t think he even knows he’s hurt me, and he does say a lot of sweet things like texting me to wish me luck before my big presentation in one of my classes. And he was the one to reach out to start the texting over break. I just feel confused with how he says sweet things and then also insensitive things and sometimes I can’t tell if he’s this dense, and just a slow texter, or if he just actually doesn’t care. He pays for my food when we go on dates if that’s important and also all his friends are male (perhaps why he is dense?) if that’s relevant too
Should I bring it up with him? Does he still seem like he likes me if he texts me once a day?