Found out my husband doesn’t actually strap our baby[5months/M] into the carseat when he takes the baby places, he just sets him in the carseat. I’m furious and he sees no problem with it. His justification is that he is a professional driver(has his CDL) and he thinks there’s nothing wrong with it because there are not many cars on the road early in the morning when he takes the baby to daycare. I’m so angry and he is making it seem like I shouldn’t have a problem with it and it’s no big deal and tried to compare the danger level to me accidentally not turning up the heater in the baby’s room when he was sleeping in there for an hour because I didn’t realize how cold it was in there after just coming from outside. Am I overreacting??
43 comments
You are not overreacting. What’s he’s doing is so dangerous and so very inexcusable. Someone with a CDL should know better.
Do you really need Reddit for this?
If it’s not a troll post, go ahead and take the kid and stay elsewhere and file for divorce and go for full custody since he endangers the child.
No, you’re not overreacting. Why can’t he strap his son safely into his car seat?
This is pure laziness.
Think about that for a minute. Your husband is too lazy to strap your kid into his carseat.
Your husband is a horrible father. I call the cops on people like him when i see them on the road. He can get charged with child neglect if a cop ever sees him doing this.
My fiance has a CDL and he’s not this stupid and careless with our kids.
Take your child and get a divorce. It’s in the best interest of your baby.
This guy… how doesn’t it occur to him that he can’t control what OTHERS are doing on the road. So so so terribly irresponsible of him I can’t even put it into words. Seriously. At his astronomical age he should know better. It takes three seconds and he’s being pure lazy. I’m sure he wears his seatbelt.
OP I’m not sure how you’re not considering divorcing this guy. This isn’t a minor mistake like “Oh I accidentally gave the baby cereal too early” or “Oh man, forgot to turn the baby monitor on”. Buddy is intentionally being lazy and risking your baby’s life and sees 0 problem with it.
doesn’t matter if he’s a good driver he needs every single person on the road to also be great drivers. pls leave him so your baby doesn’t die in his care.
I agree that this is grounds to leave asap, but if you don’t, and still let him drive your baby, call the police immediately when he leaves, tell them your spouse just left with your baby who’s not buckled in, and tell them exactly where he’s going and how he’s getting there.
No seat belt. No baby with dad. And peace out.
Does he wear a seatbelt himself? Either way I would not let him drive with the baby again and call the cops if he does it anyway. I think you know the right thing to do in this situation. Your child needs a parent to keep him/her safe.
I almost divorced my husband for not putting the seatbelt harness on our DOG.
Every accident I’ve been in has been right by my house on off hours… car safety is not a joke.
Is his CDL gonna stop another car from running a red light? Is it gonna clear up black ice off the roads? Or keep deer in the woods? Regardless of whether or not he thinks he can swerve and dodge stuff with his impressive driving skills, what happens if he swerves to dodge a car running a light and the baby just flops out the seat???
I witnessed an accident where there are two dead babies and another who probably will never be ‘normal’ due to the dad failing to restrain them properly. All under 5 years old. Husband needs to strap baby in properly 100% of the time or you’ll have to drive the baby. No one is perfect and unpredictable things happen.
Some of these questions leave me scratching my head. It is basic safely. He is being lazy. It’s not okay. He cannot be trusted.
I have seen enough horror videos of what happens when a child isn’t properly harnessed. Maybe show him some?
This. Is. Illegal.
If he’s caught he will lose his commercial license, and be unable to provide. If he is is a wreck, your child will likely die.
No matter what, he should have no more access to this baby.
This has to be a shitpost, right? Who needs Reddit for this? Your husband doesn’t care if he kills your kid.
>Am I overreacting??
YOURE UNDER REACTING OH FUCK NO.
Race car drivers gets into accident. CDL means nothing. It takes LESS THAN A SECOND for an accident. It’s hard in the body EVEN WITH THE BEST SEATBELTS. No seatbelt? 5 months? God now. The split second he bends down to pick up something, check his phone, change the radio channel.
He’s not to be near a car and your child at the same time. I’d call cps. I’d rather you fight with your husband and go through an acrimonious divorce (not wishing that on you at all!) than for you to POSSIBLY spend your life regretting not insisting and enforcing seatbelt laws. The other option is so awful I can’t even type it on here. No. Absolutely not. DIE ON THIS HILL and bring your MIL FIL SIL BIL and your entire family, all his friends, his 2nd grade teacher and his boss with you. Fuck I’ll die on this hill with you.
Absolutely not.
if you do not leave this man and take your child, you are neglecting your child. you know he is putting the kid in danger, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY as a parent to keep them safe. for fucks sake. do you want to regret letting your child die because you didn’t intervene? don’t let him gaslight you into thinking it’s not a big deal.
I know your husband is making you feel crazy for being upset about this and you came to Reddit to not feel so alone in how you’re feeling. You’re not crazy, you’re not a bad parent, and your husband is 100% in the wrong. I would not trust him to drive baby anymore and I would continue to have conversations with him about why.
He could be the safest driver on the road but that won’t protect him from *everyone else.* If he gets into an accident, your child is now a projectile.
Also, say hypothetically that he gets pulled over by a cop (e.g. speeding, taillight out, random check, etc). What do you think would happen if a *cop* sees a newborn not belted in?!
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>Am I overreacting??
If you continue to allow him to drive your child while knowing he doesn’t make their safety a #1 priority, you’re under-reacting.
Your husband is a negligent moron
Well, ypu just found out he’d rather risk killing your son than take two seconds to properly secure him into the car, so do with that what you will. God, some people are pathetic.
Oh hell no! He is putting your baby in danger! Do NOT let him take the baby anywhere again. Holy hell that is so dangerous! Getting in even a minor accident could kill the baby! I hope this isn’t real because wow.
I thank god we buckled our baby in the car seat properly when a big ass delivery van tboned our truck turning left as we were going through a yellow light. They started their turn as we were still in the intersection 🤦♀️
Baby was fine and they were instantly given a negligent driving ticket. Car totalled. But yeah. Can’t control stupid people on the road.
You are under reacting. Do not let your child go in the car with your husband. Period.
Rent the movie Dead Calm and have your husband watch the beginning of it.
It doesn’t matter how good of a driver he is, there are way more variables than his driving in play and if he doesn’t realize this, he has the mental capacity of a baby.
You should consider as of this post and knowing this is happening and if you do nothing, you are now complicit in your kids future injury and death if something happens. Which is also how I figure this is fake because nobody would be that dumb to post about it knowing their own liability.
No – your husband is an idiot
Literally call the cops on him next time he drives with the kiddo and use that in your custody battle when filing for divorce.
If husband doesn’t think this is a big deal and you’re over reacting tell him to ask ANYONE else’s opinion on the matter. His parents, your parents. His best friend, your neighbor. Literally anyone would agree with you. Not that I think it will change his mind of he’s this stubborn, but give someone else a turn to chew him out for something so disgusting and irresponsible.
DO NOT let him take the baby anywhere in the car anymore. Please please your child matters so much more than the convenience of him being up early to take him to daycare. Find another way for your sons safety.
This is a hill I die on. He gets rear ended your baby is dead. I would absolutely not let him drive anywhere with the baby. If you do nothing you’re just as guilty.
Wow you are UNDER reacting. Trust your gut on this one.
The thing about car accidents is that they are accidents. Unexpected. Not planned for. Come out of no where. It doesn t matter what kind of driver you are or what kind of driver’s license you have, accidents do happen and we need to always be as prepared as we can be in advance. Once the accidents begins, it’s too late.
This is one of those things where putting your own child’s safety above the comfort of your marriage needs to happeN. If you’re on good terms with your MIL, I’d loop her in on this. I’d blast my son a new asshole if I ever heard him doing some bullshit like this.
The father of my children won’t even put the car in drive until he knows everyone is strapped in and safe. I mean, buckling your child in, is the easiest thing in the world. He is being a neglectful parent and he is OKAY with neglecting and endangering your child.
I know someone whose kid just died that way
It’s incredible when people admit to being a horrible person with a lack of parenting skills.
For me I start thinking, does this person want to kill their infant? There is absolutely zero justification for this- it’s not laziness. He knows the dangers as he is apparently a professional driver.
If you decide to divorce, please get proof that he doesn’t put a seatbelt on the baby. I would not want to split custody with this guy.
Is he… *trying* to passively kill the baby?
Your baby is gunna become a projectile in the event of an accident. You are not overreacting.
Why are you spending time posting this on Reddit instead of packing your stuff and immediately leaving with baby?
This is horrifying to me. What happens if a crappy driver hits HIM??? Oh my god, I would not let my husband drive anywhere alone with my child until he has his head screwed on straight. Your baby would flop all over your car if someone hit your husband!
Not over reacting at all! I had a friend in high school (yes, teen pregnancy) who did that strap her fit into the car seat because she was just going a few houses down the road in the neighborhood. Anyways, when she pulled into the driveway and stopped, it was enough so that the baby flew out of the car seat and hit the ground. The baby suffered skull fractures and brain bleed.
Are you seriously asking us if you’re over reacting to your husband putting your literal baby in mortal danger? Ask the moron you married if he wants a dead baby or potentially a baby with a traumatic brain injury. I have worked in insurance for 20 years, accidents happen all the time.
No problem with it??? I think he’s regretting his decision to raise a kid and secretly is hoping something horrible will happen… why wouldn’t you protect your 5 month old