I met my bf at one of the house parties I went when I was in uni. He was once a good guy. He spoiled me, never let me pay and always has itinerary whenever we go. I know I have been lacking and don’t put so much effort as him but he knew I have trouble expressing my feelings. We’ve known each other for a year before started dating.
Lately, at the beginning of the year he told me he wanted to marry me but I laughed it off and told him my thoughts about getting married at this age. I’m still young and I’m still enjoying my freedom. I know he has been talking to me about wanting a family, moving to smaller city for more opportunities. I kept turning them down cause I still don’t know what I want. I’m still figuring out after being lose on track. I’m still not in my proudest state of my life. I’m not happy about what I’ve achieved. I don’t wanna get married. After he went on a trip, things have change. He’s not putting so much effort same as previois years. I always ask him out if not he wouldn’t mind not seeing me for a week. I’ve done not texting him for couple of days he didn’t even message nor call me.
I called him out and asked whats wrong he was very nonchalant and told me.. he’s falling out of love. I told him what made him think of that and he said I don’t know I think I deserve better I guess. Months later, I thought it was his phase but he’s becoming more n more nonchalant. He cared other things and people more than me, his girlfriend. I’m starting to get paranoid and work on myself. I started talking about marriage and stuffs cause I don’t want him to leave me. He was just “I’m not sure if I still want to with you”. He asked for space.. for few weeks he never called me nor text me. Nothing at all. I approached him after a month. He’s never been the same again. I was crying and asking him not to break up with me. I can be ready for marriage or whatever he wants. He just shrugged his shoulder and cried he felt that his feelings were slowly fading away. He cried cause he doesn’t know how to stop it that he doesn’t wanna give up on me but he’s not really happy anymore. I told him I’ll make it up to him.
I’ve been more expressive and almost feels like I went back on track. I thought we’re getting better and that we overcome those obstacles. He didn’t celebrate christmas eve with me what we normally do. He went to my parent’s house on christmas day where I was celebrating.. he broke up with me.. yesterday, he broke up with me.
I’m still delusional and this is not happening to me. After he broke up with me I’ve been calling him but he’s not answering to any of my calls. He blocked me on social media and last thing I’ve heard from his sister that he’s moving somewhere else. I even talked to his parents and found out he cried in fromt of him cause he doesn’t know how to save our relationship and he’s blaming himself for losing his feelings for me.. and which is ironic, he asked his family to cut me off.
I don’t know how my life ended up like this. I think I deserve better especially we’ve been together for 4 years.