Backstory: We met in December 2022 in the UK, and moved in together around March 2023. Come September 2023, my girlfriend went back to her home country to do an internship. We met in December, and will celebrate new year together, and on the 1st of January 2024, she will fly back home, and then fly to Australia in the middle of February 2024 to do her PhD, which starts in March 2024.
It is quite a large distance, and my girlfriend seems to love me and do everything that a loving girlfriend does – she shares her life with me, wants me to share mine with her, and wants us to meet often. However, her attitude towards marriage at this point is A: That is is too early for her (respect that), and B: That I just started my career, and thus need to first be more financially stable (which is true, as I landed my first managerial job in August 2023, so that’s very recent, also can respect that and don’t have the money necessary at this point to marry anyone).
Anyhow, the issue is that my girlfriend sees moving in together again, for the second time, as something that must necessarily precede marriage. She thus says she would feel “pressure” if I considered moving to Australia to be closer to her. Also, she wants me to focus on career, and to “do as well as I can”, whilst still meeting up with me regularly (we already said we wanted to meet up around May 2024), and would thus feel that me moving to Australia would make her feel that I am putting my career on hold for her, something she isn’t comfortable with.
I thus remain confused regarding this relationship: How come she wants us to continue meeting and says that she loved me, if she isn’t open-minded enough to see that I can, optimally, try and find a decent job at a good company, whilst also being in Australia? She also told me that she isn’t sure even if she wants to settle in Australia, as she goes there just due to her PhD. But if she didn’t settle the first time when we moved in together, why would this have to do with anything? I am confused and would welcome any input.
TL;DR: In an LDR with my girlfriend who is about to pursue a PhD in Australia. She wants us to continue meeting, but doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of me relocating closer to her, as she would feel responsible for hampering my career. I am confused, and wish to understand her better.