Throw away account because I don’t want this on my main
I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible
I was with my ex for 3 years, and I ended things with her around 2 months ago for reasons I won’t disclose here, but the main takeaway is that she fucked me up, badly. She was a manipulative person and it didn’t end well. I blocked her on what I could, and went on with my life.
All was going well until a couple days ago, when I was going to check what my friends were doing for Christmas in our discord server we have, and lo and behold, she’s there chatting up a storm with my friends. A little context for her friendship with my friends is that me and her met all of my friends at the same time, but generally I was closer with more of the guys than she was, apart from one of them, who we’ll call Kevin (not his real name).
Her and Kevin were always close and we often hung out together while me and my ex were still together, and although I’ve known Kevin for probably 6 years, we only really became friends once we started hanging out together a little less than 3 years ago. Kevin was the one who owns the discord server, which houses my entire friend group, and he was the one who invited her to the server, as well as her new boyfriend which is just great. I brought up my issue with this to Kevin privately, and said that he invited them since they all wanted to play minecraft together, and he didn’t think about how it would affect me. I asked him if she could be removed, with a multitude of reasons, and he refused, I asked him again about it and he said he spoke to a bunch of other people about her presence there and they agreed with him, that she shouldn’t be excluded from the group just because I have an issue with her being there.
Kevin noticed that I was upset about it, and asked why I had such a problem with her being there, and I explained to him why I ended things and all of my reasons for her not to be there, pretty clear reasons as well. He never responded to what I told him, but I noticed that my ex was gone from the server, and after maybe half an hour she was back and talking again. I asked Kevin what was going on with it, and he hasn’t gotten back to me.
What should I do about this? They’re my only friend group that I got, there’s around 30 people in that server, and if I left I’m worried that I won’t be invited back in since they would favour my ex over me. I’m just lost on what to do.
And before people say to just block her and ignore her, blocking people on discord isn’t what it should be, and I am still able to see that “someone that you blocked has sent a message”, so it’s still obvious that she’s there and talking to my friends.
Am I overreacting to her being there? Should I keep confronting my friend for inviting her? I don’t want to leave the group since it’s really my only friend group, but is that the right choice?