We are in counseling, so things aren’t perfect at the moment but we both want to try and work things out. So I’ve been trying to be and do better and work on the issues I have/that he has with me.
Today I glanced at his phone screen, he had this small sly smile/smirk on his face while texting so I asked who are you texting. He said his mother on Whatsapp. Well, whatsapps background is green, this was blue and white. I tell him this and he argues that it was his mother. I push back because I know the background I saw. He eventually admits it. Then spins a weird tale of why he lied and how the messages came about that makes no sense. He was messaging a female work colleague on instagram (I don’t use it)
I’ve never had any reason before to distrust him and he’s never lied to me before that I could pick up, infidelity was not one of our problems. So this has my hackles up. We talk, I then ask to see the messages, he then tells me the messages don’t stay there unless you save it…..this doesn’t seem right so I press the issue and he admits he deleted it.
So you lie twice. And there’s no way I’ll ever know what the messages said and I didnt bother reading them when I glanced at his screen. He said it was wishing her a merry Christmas. If so, why delete it if innocent.
I don’t know how to feel, I can’t sleep, millions of scenes running through my mind. This is someone he works with, sees daily and coupled with the fact that he has been on his phone even more that usual the past couple of weeks, how do i trust him going forward.How do I get past this and carry on working on our marriage.