Like let’s say both husband and wife have and should have a say, but when shit hits the fan and there has to be a final decision after all the debate and both sides are equally competent or incompetent as well as equal stakes, is it fair to say that the man should have the final say or does this go against the views of most Americans?
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I believe it would go against the view of most Americans, although that depends on culture, religion, etc.
Whoever paying most of the bills. If it’s the man, it’s the man, if it’s split, have a joint agreement
Redditors gonna downvote but that’s how it goes everywhere I know 🤷🏾♂️ you asked, I answered. Not gonna lie to please you.
Imo. No. Decisions should be discussed between man/husband/father and woman/wife/mother before they are made.
I know its old fashioned especially in movies where the father/husband will say “We are doing XYZ and that’s final!” But thats mostly hollywood.
But then again American cultural differences can vary.
Decisions should be made by those in charge, as in husband and wife/ wife and wife/ husband and husband. If you can’t find a mutually agreeable decision, 99% of the time you aren’t the right fit for each other.
Very very generally I would say Americans do not believe that the man/husband/father gets ‘final say’ on decisions in the household. That’s considered antiquated, misogynistic and frankly unnecessary.
Now, there are of course exceptions to that depending on individual households, cultural norms in certain parts of the country, religious beliefs, all that.
But I’d bet you in most households if you asked the other adult in the house who wasn’t the ‘man/husband/father’ if the man got final say in things, they’d look at you like you were a time traveler from some bygone era where women couldn’t open a credit card without their husband or father around.
If both sides are equally competent/incompetent, why should the man have final say? Doesn’t make much sense.
No, that’s frankly an outdated belief, in my opinion. My wife has made the final decision on matters on a regular basis, as have I. Whoever is more experienced or more knowledgeable about resolving the issue should preferably have the final say, regardless of their gender.
If an agreeable decision cannot be made by either partner, then a compromise should be made.
Maybe 40-50 years ago.
As the man of the house, why yes. Yea I should be the absolute authority! Paterfamilias all the way, if my wife allows that.
Not sure what this has to do with being American but the most rational adult should have the final say, regardless of their gender.
Gender should not play a role in all at this. The final say is determined through compromise.
In traditional and usually more rural areas this can still be found and gets supported by evangelical Christian beliefs.
Even in more progressive relationships I would say many women let the men have their way because it’s easier than fighting.
What century is it?
No, the “man” should not have final say. For one, sometimes there are two men. Or none.
For another, if you can’t come to an agreement on serious topics, why are you married to each other? lol
I don’t know anyone that would defer to their husband simply because he’s the man. That seems so…18th century.
Hell no
I usually have the final say
In my household, when there were any opposing views, we’d reach a compromise. That was the most common solution. If that wasn’t possible, one would have it their way… but the next time no compromise could be reached about any particular situation, the other person’s choice would rule on that day.
This is definitely not a thing for most Americans and anyone who willingly and happily structures their family this way is treated as backwards and crazy.
Not at all.
EDIT: Adding, I think a lot of households try to approach things with a view toward Democracy when it comes toward things that impact the family. That’s just my experience. People talk things out.
>both sides are equally competent or incompetent as well as equal stakes
Yeah, I was going to say that one of us yields to the expert when a decision must be made in a hurry or after fruitless debate. We both have our roles to play.
For example, My wife keeps me informed of the finances and I’m aware of what goes on but generally I defer to her expertise. The same is true for general car stuff or grilling. She bakes, I grill.
It really depends on the couple. Most Americans will find a compromise. Some couples have specific areas where one spouse has the final decision and some areas will be the final decision of the other spouse. There are also some households where the wife is the final decision maker. Couples who have the man as the final authority are in the minority.
Not since 1905.
When one person has “final say” then those decisions reflect that person’s priorities.
When two people are both responsible for making decisions together, those decisions reflect the shared priorities of the couple. The majority of Americans hold having shared priorities as an essential feature of an ideal marriage.
This isn’t easy. It requires a ton of mutual respect and communication. Figuring out how strong preferences are on both sides, which opinions should carry more weight. An openness to changing your mind, and deciding for yourself that the other person’s priorities matter as much as yours.
Some couples find a way to take turns or divide the decision-making along zones of expertise, or some other way that preserves fairness. But however they do it, couples that can really make decisions together are probably happier in a multitude of ways than couples where one person’s priorities simply trump the other’s.
Im a stay at home mom, so my husband pays all of the bills. If he tried putting his “foot down”, or told me it was the end of something because he has the final say…that would be so incredibly out of character for him. We just come a decision together by talking it through? Idk. Unless it’s household stuff he leaves all of those decisions to me
It depends on religious beliefs, culture, region, etc… but generally the man having the final say in household decisions is not the default belief here.
I can only speak for my own household that we’d meet each other half way. Or we’d rock paper scissors it.
Does? I think it depends on the generation the people grew up in. With Boomers and older, it tends to be the man who has the final say since that’s what was common throughout their lives. Each generation has subscribed less and less to that notion though. It’s also very cultural too, some cultures are very patriarchal.
Should it be that way? No. If you’re married, share finances, and share a household you should probably talk things through and make a joint decision.
We do in our house. No wife, though. Just us two husbands. 🙂
There is no “final say.” Talk it out and compromise until you find a workable solution.
No it’s not fair to say that. In a partnership both people get equal say. Why would the man get the final say?
Most of the Americans who believe that, are part of a small religious minority. The vast majority of us recognize women as being just as capable of logical reasoning and decision making as men are. And, in fact, that the bar is low. Most households in reality defer to the spouse who has the stronger personality, whether they are making the wisest decision or not. In my household that’s me (F).
No, and this is not even remotely unique to Americans. In this century we compromise.
As the man/husband/father of the household, yes I should get the last word. And I do. Because my wife let’s me.
*Does/should the man/husband/father have the final say in decisions in the household?*
No. Someone’s genitals should not come into the equation.
No. Both sides are equally competent. Both have equal stakes.
Why does a penis have priority over a vagina when everything else is equal??
As a man, I don’t think this should be the case. If there should be a tie-breaker vote, it should go to the more intelligent sex: the woman.
It’s by consensus
No, marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
No. You compromise like adults, or you split up.
Being a man doesn’t automatically mean you have say over women. In fact this thinking is a MASSIVE red flag of misogyny and antiquated ignorance.
Men who believe this show they are unable to adapt to the realities of an equal modern society, and are therefore defective as partners, due to illogical reasoning based on outdated beliefs.
Some Americans are misogynists and would follow your example. It’s not a cultural expectation or norm though. Women aren’t subservient in most families snd are less so with each generation and as religion has less of an influence.
Hang on, let me ask my wife.
She said “shut up, the shed needs to be cleaned.”