Long time friend (F24) and I (M25) have marriage pact

Long time friend (F24) and I (M25) have marriage pact

—She is my friend of about 10 years. We met on FaceTime while I was with my buddy, who was being set up with her because they had mutual friends who were dating. Nothing sparked between her and my buddy but her and I clicked as friends.

Our friendship became FaceTime sessions that would last for hours. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t crushing on her hard for the first year of the friendship. I was too insecure to be confident and ask her to date, and she ended up in a relationship shortly after.

Early in her new relationship, she learned that new bf would be moving out of state after they graduated high school. She would be staying in state for college and moving to be with him after. In the coming months she would vent to me about their relationship issues, as well as complain about him being set to move away. One day she started going on about how we get along so well that if we are both single at 30 we could just be with each other. This really peaked my interest because it made me feel like maybe she had some of the feelings for me that I had for her, but we didn’t talk much more about it that day.

As my thoughts raced in the next few days, I decided the next time the FaceTimed that I would ask her if she really meant that or if it was just a joke. I grew a pair and asked, she smiled nervously and said that she knows we would get along and I would treat her well so yes she was serious. I asked about the sexual attraction and she said she used to have a crush on me and that it would probably come back. This hurt to hear because I was still into the thought of being with her. I told her I would agree to terms, and we clarified that it was when she turns 30 as I am about 2 years older.

—During her 2 college years in state without bf we would hang out in person more often. Turning 21 helped that as we could meet up for drinks and it not be intimately sitting at someone’s house. The thing is, every time we drink together she brings up the pact. Knowing that our pact is somewhat childish in and of itself, I try to tell myself that it isn’t weird for her to bring it up, and we don’t drink together THAT often, so I was probably just reading into it.

Fast forward a few years, she graduated and moves out of state to be with bf. I go down to stay with them and he’s gone with family and friends most of the time, so it’s just her and i chilling together. We decide to go out and have drinks so she can show me her favorite bars. You probably see where this is going lol.

We get to the bar and have a Long Island, and by the time the waitress gets back with our second round, she is talking about the pact again. Asks if i would move down there because she hates it back home. Talks about her and bf’s sex life almost as if to hint at what she likes to gauge my reaction. Then…. as she laughs at a one of my millions of corny comments, she reaches over and puts her hand on my knee. Not for long, but laughing and holding eye contact while doing it, certainly with some unknown intention. We continue to talk about the hypotheticals of our pact, before kinda jokingly brushing it off as to not talk about it too much.

— You’re pretty much caught up now, with the exception of noting that over the last year since the knee touch night she and I have mentioned the pact a lot. It’s always in a joking tone that would sound innocent to a bystander, but the ease and frequency which it gets brought up makes me think that she thinks about this a lot, and has the courage to say it when drinking.

Does it seem that she is hiding feelings, or just being promiscuous to a close friend?

TL;DR! My long time friend and I have a marriage pact, I want to know if shes hiding feelings for me.