Ok so I’ve never done this before, but I need some advice.
I’m in what some would consider a “situationship” and I don’t know how to proceed. There’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for 6+ months now. Long story short, we’ve been flirting/hanging out in groups for a few months now and I recently just confirmed that he has feelings for me. I also have feelings for him and we finally talked after months of flirty banter and one random drunken night kiss (that we never discussed after). The problem is that when we talked about our feelings, he basically said that he really likes me but he can’t date right now. I understand some would consider this a red flag, but I do understand his perspective. We’re in 2 different seasons of life. I’m 24F with a career and he’s a 22M about to graduate college and needs to figure out his life.
The reason I don’t know how to proceed is because we still flirt with each other and we text/talk on the phone every day. It’s very confusing on both ends (I also don’t know what I want out of this). He has avoidant attachment style, which I have come to realize after multiple encounters due to some trauma he’s had in past relationships. I’ve also recently discovered I may have a slight bit of anxious attachment style, as well.
I recently told him to take me on a date or to stop flirting with me and we can be “just friends”. He said he would take me on the date (I basically begged him to) but he has done neither and it’s been 2 weeks since this discussion.
If I continue to text/flirt with him then my feelings are just going to grow and get deeper. But I also just want a date/to hang out alone with him because we’ve never done that before!! He’ll initiate group hang outs and get upset if I don’t attend them but he can’t hang out with me alone?
Please give me your best advice!! And be nice, I’m sensitive lol.
TL;DR: 24F in situationship with 22M. We have mutual feelings for one another, but 22M is not ready for a relationship due to past trauma. How do I proceed?