Recently I’ve been seeing someone who has a few kinks; they’re hot! We took some consensual photos during sex of our faces recently, talked about it, and had a good time with it— we both enjoyed. He also wanted a pic when we first met, too, which I found cute. Flash forward to another day and I am going down on this guy, look up, and he is smiling and clearly videotaping the act with his phone. I ask him to stop, tell him that he needs my consent for that, and there is no pushback. It was not of my body as we had discussed with prior photos, but there had never been an open invitation for pics, vids, etc in general either. Later on I asked him to delete it, which he promised to do— after hinting at first taking a peak for “personal use.” I didn’t give him pushback about that bc I found it kindof hot. In general I am processing and wondering if some boundaries blurred between both experiences, and also whether or not my discomfort with the situation is a sign of mixed messages or red flags. I get his sentiment— I don’t think he had malicious intent. I trust him with the content. Still, it feels off because of the way it happened.
Advice on how to proceed? Opinions? Is this a kink that I should be tuning into to figure out whether or not it’s for me? Was it wrong if it wasn’t hidden and I had a say over it because of that? We have been boundary testing a little bit lately. Any honest remarks about why you do this if photos/vids during intimacy are your thing with a partner, too?