I knew it was coming. Yes, I had been hounding him to propose to me after 6 years of being together, and it looked like we were finally going to take a step forward in our relationship, until our wedding day and I haven’t since stopped being upset and crying my eyes out. The day I was supposed to feel my most beautiful, I may have looked like a disgusting pig.
After the wedding vows were done, we were escorted at the stage where there was a loveseat. My husband asked me to sit first and as I did, I heard a ripping sound of a fart. Followed by howls of laughter, with him teasing me. It was a prank, there was a fart machine that was loud enough for everyone to hear. At first, I was in shock, then in denial and was completely stunned with tears that I was trying to hold back.
The event ended soon after with reception scheduled for tomorrow night. I invested so much, emotionally and materially into making our wedding perfect, as my husband decided to give me lead on things as “he’s not a great planner” – the perfect dress, the perfect makeup, venue, flowers etc – only for me to be mocked at and humiliated. My self esteem doesn’t even exist, let alone fall.
I am currently at my own apartment and have refused to speak to my husband and am contemplating an annulment. He says it was just a prank, and has been begging me to come back. He also said he would make it up to me and help me get over it.
In the slight chance it is, can someone convince me otherwise? We have way too much history together.
TLDR: husband played a fart prank on wedding, I am considering a split.
48 comments
sent him a divorce letter and later tell him its a prank
You’re just going to have to wait til he dies. Put strings on his dead body in the coffin and jump scare everyone in the middle of whatever speech is being done. I’m sorry, but this is the only way.
Honestly I think an annulment is not an overreaction
What’s nexts? I don’t think you want to be there to find out
An annulment is so so much cheaper and easier than an divorce later
He doesn’t even sound sorry
I would annul the marriage. You shouldn’t punish yourself by allowing this person to be your life partner. He is an insensitive ass who wanted to get some laughs (juvenile ones at that) at your expense.
Have you spoken to friends and family? What do they say?
I would annul this marriage. His reaction to you being so upset is a deal breaker. He didn’t care that he embarrassed and humiliated you to the point that you were holding back tears. Him telling you to get over it and it was just a prank is inappropriate. Weddings are not the place to play pranks . His lack of empathy and consideration for your feelings is not ok .
This is not a person who loves and respects you. You shouldn’t have had to spend years “hounding” him to commit, if he wanted to he would have done so of his own volition.
Firstly, you had to hound him to marry you for 6 years. You need to ask yourself why this was good enough for you. He’s immature & likely always was but you hoped a marriage proposal would change that. Shocker—it didn’t. You need to ask yourself if this is what you want in a husband. I can tell you, I wouldn’t want a husband who thinks fart jokes are funny, but that’s just me.
The issue here is that he won’t entertain your feelings or even the idea that his “prank” went too far.
After making you wait 6 years to finally propose, it also sounds like he doesn’t understand the significance of a wedding and how much that meant to you.
Essentially he ruined months of your careful and meticulous planning in under one minute for a quick and cheap laugh. And he didn’t give a single fuck either.
Even in an ideal world – where he’s simply misunderstood and was trying to bring light and humour to your big day – it doesn’t sound like you’re compatible.
Can you personally move forwards from this point, and not have this cast a negative reflection on your marriage moving forward? I think this where your answer lies.
Good luck and take care fellow Redditor.
>He says it was just a prank and to get over it.
It’s just a prank… TO HIM. Your wedding day was clearly a big deal for you. A WEDDING DAY is typically a HUGE FUCKING DEAL to the bride. Not just you, per se. Other brides, from across different cultures, would probably react the same as you, if they had high expectations for their big day.
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Of course you’d be upset at being humiliated at your own wedding. I think you did the right thing. You told him that this day was important to you, Idk if you guys discussed pranks or whatnot before hand but I can’t imagine, that with the level of effort and time you put into making your wedding perfect, he wouldn’t know.
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I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think he just … idk, felt like humiliating you on your big day for some reason. Idk what that reason is. Did he even GIVE you a reason??
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This definitely warrants a breakup. He ruined a huge, expensive, moment for you, that you’ve probably been looking forward to, all your life, since you were a little girl. That huge day is now ruined, money wasted, effort and time wasted. This definitely warrants a breakup. It’s DEFINITELY a huge deal, and not something “you just get over”
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Imagine if you did this on HIS big day. Imagine if he was getting a life-changing promotion, his DREAM job that he’d been looking forward to, since he was a kid, and YOU humiliate him in front of the executives and the board.
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he also would be on reddit “asking for advice on what to do”.
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Ugh. I’m sorry this happened to you. Please take care of yourself, and know that you’re not being unreasonable. He ruined your big day after you planned every detail out to be perfect, and humiliating you on your big day, is NOT okay.
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Source: I was maid of honor to a bridezilla. I know what these “perfect weddings” entail and mean to a bride.
Someone described these kinds of things (like the cake smashing) as punishments for the person they’re marrying. This doesn’t bode well.
The fact that you don’t even live together and he didn’t want to marry you is a red flag.
My lifelong best friend married an AH like your husband.
She’s gone through 28 years of ABUSIVE HELL with that bastard to the point I was barely able to remember what an amazingly vivacious, bright, and joyful person she actually was!
**OVER TEN YEARS** of no physical intimacy whatsoever-not even holding hands.
That’s the kind of future you are staring at.
Get an annulment ASAP and announce your plan at the reception!!!
P.S. – You know what is an appropriate wedding “prank”??? The tiny little kiss my husband planted on the end of my nose right before we fed each other bites of cake like grownups with some dignity AND respect for each other (no smashing or anything).
We had teased about little frosting smudges, and that careful little “snoot boop” (he made sure not to mess up my makeup) was his loving nod to those jokes we had made, and we BOTH giggled!
If you need to convinced, then you already know. I wouldn’t dare try to change your mind.
I think the prank itself is harmless if it’s just you two or around close friends maybe. Pranks like that don’t belong at your own wedding. Also, the fact that you had to hound him to propose is telling in and of itself. I would split from this person.
Shred the marriage license if you haven’t turned it in yet
What are his redeeming qualities, why did you want to marry him? And is this a pattern, does he routinely look for ways to embarrass you? And your family too?
If you have been together this long, he should know you enough that you would not want him to do that at your wedding. He just didn’t care. He put him and others amusement over your feelings. You should never have to hound anyone to marry you. I say cut your losses and make this your first step of taking your self respect back and build. Cut people out of your life that are unkind and do harm to you mentally and physically and otherwise. Life is too short. Be happy. UPDATEME
My grandmother always said, “Fun is never really fun unless it’s fun for everyone.”
Your husband needs to learn this.
It’s not a joke unless both parties are laughing. If everyone is laughing at you and you are humiliated, it’s bullying. Let me reiterate: *He bullied you on your wedding day.*
Get an annulment and don’t look back.
So you have to beg him to propose after 6 years in a relationship. Then he leaves you with the burden of planning the entire wedding on your own. Then decides to plan a prank on his bride, executes it, humiliates you on such a special day, and is now surprised that it upset you.
Talk to a therapist and then talk to a lawyer. You’ve built up your now husband as a fantasy. He doesn’t exist. He has always been this way. He is immature, selfish, inconsiderate, unhelpful, asshat. Dump this guy and sue him for damages. Let him learn the hard way on his own. You could try to forgive, but you can never forget and it seems you were blind to all the red flags. This is a boy not a man.
Did that annulment! What an absolute despicable thing to do on your wedding day
I would annul the marriage. My boyfriend is 25 and he would never pull anything like that especially on our wedding day. Go find you a man who will love you and fight for. A man who wants nothing but the best for you. A man who it hurts him to see you cry.
I’m someone who doesn’t care what people think. You only get one life and it should be a happy one based on what you want not what everyone else thinks you should want.
Please research shut up rings/wedding/proposals on tik tok… once you said you “have been hounding him to propose” the title made sense. He 100% was punishing you and wanted to humiliate you for sure. Please ignore anyone around you saying it’s not a big deal or was just a prank. This was your wedding day, the biggest day in most woman’s life they dream about and he chose that moment to make a stupid and juvenile prank. This goes hand in hand with the idiots that push their wife’s face in their wedding cake to give you an example. I would get everything annulled if I were you. He really will never be able to make this up to you, like how could he take this back??
The fact you had to beg him to commit in the first place, and the only bit of your wedding he planned was a FART MACHINE pretty much tells me that this guy is a waste of space.
Annul away – you will be so much better off for it.
The only person who looked like a disgusting pig was him. Leave him in your dust. You deserve so much better.
So he’s not a good planner, but he put enough thought and effort into obtaining a loud fart machine? And then he set the timing perfectly for when it would have most effect?
OP, a normal husband reserves that level of prep and planning for a big romantic gesture: hundreds of rose petals falling from the ceiling or something.
This was cruelly calculated to make you feel small just at your happiest moment. Is that who you want to be married to?
The thing about pranksters is they get something out of humiliating someone. This isn’t someone I would want to be married to. You have been with him for six years – has he humiliated you in the past?
To me this doesn’t seem forgiveable to make your new bride a laughing stock. It certainly isn’t the actions of a man that is supposed to care about you above all others. Your discomfort and embarrassment did not matter; the only thing that mattered to him was to pull this prank and look “funny” to the people gathered.
I can assure that most of the people gathered did not find that funny and were wondering what in the world you ever saw in him.
Lots of dudes think fart humor is funny.
None of them would do this on their wedding day because it’s obviously crass.
He knew what he was doing.
Start gaining your self love by making a hard choice and choosing yourself first and get an annulment. You deserve to be happy and cherished not mocked and your confidence destroyed on what should be me of the happiest days of your life. You will gain friends and you have us here on Al Gores internet. You are loved and cherished…leave the asshole💕
Hey Sis
First off my heart aches for you
Second you deserve so much more from EVERYONE in your life including yourself.
You need to see your value before anyone else can.
Therapy is a great way to start
Cut your losses and annul the marriage
Love, light and strength coming your way
My wedding dress was a bit risque. It had a low neckline and I was very well endowed. My ex-husband smashed the cake all over my face then into my cleavage down between my breasts. In front of everyone. And it was caught on our wedding video. My side of the family was stunned and embarrassed and his side of the family were laughing like hyenas. I was mortified and a mess. I watched our wedding video one time and never watched it again.
There is a reason why he is my ex-husband
he was able to plan a fart prank out, but couldn’t plan a single thing for your wedding? you basically forced him to get married after 6 years?
you should get that annulment and go find someone who actually loves and respects you.
Unfortunately he showed you your wedding was just an opportunity for him to demean you. I think if you stay the next thread you’ll be posting on is abusive relationships. He really doesn’t care what he did to you. It was just all about making it humiliating for you so he and his friends could have a great laugh at your expense. Get an annulment and find a grown up to date next.
I think your mom has ruined your self esteem and your soon to be annulled husband took the ball and ran with it. Don’t listen to either of them, get some counseling and have an amazing life being single until you find someone worthy of you.
I would’ve stood back up and left immediately, and annulled the next day. Men that think its funny to humiliate their brides at the wedding are vile trash.
Forget history; now that you’re married he showed you who he really is.
If you don’t get your marriage annulled this will be your life, with him making you feel bad for not getting his jokes whenever he decides to humiliate you for laughs.
Fuck that. Get the annulment.
There may be some women that would think it was a great prank, but I don’t know any of them. He’s an a$$ and he’s not going to change into a prince. You would be unhappy for a lifetime having to put up with his juvenile pranks and being the butt of his jokes. He isn’t going to suddenly mature at 35. Cut him loose and make the most of your life. Best wishes.
>He also said he would make it up to me and help me get over it.
***How*** does he plan to make this up to you? He humiliated you at your own wedding for his amusement (what some consider a *once-in-a-lifetime* event).
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>We have way too much history together.
Don’t get trapped in this marriage because of the sunk cost fallacy; you deserve better.
He gave you a “shut up” ring and then couldn’t even let you have ONE day where you felt beautiful and loved.
What do you think he’s going to do to you for the rest of your life?
This is deeper than a fart joke. This is intentional humiliation and a complete lack of compassion/care for you. That would be a deal-breaker for me. You’re not supposed to be in tears on your wedding day and after. You. Deserve. Better.
Just as a prank…. Tell him you’ve written a heartfelt letter explaining why you were hurt and how he can make it better. And when he opens the envelope…. IT’S PAPERS ANNOUNCING THE ANNULMENT!!!!! HA HA HA!!! What a riot! Please update us OP, and take care of yourself.
Sadly it sounds like a shut up ring – and sometimes the unwilling person kinda wants to get back at the other for being „forced“ to marry with a „prank“ (evil revenge) on the big day itself. Even if that isn’t the case he showed that a cheap „prank“ is more important to him than you (your feelings, the wedding and the relationship). As bad as it is what makes reconciliation for me hardly possible is his wording – help you to get over it (that in itself shows clearly he dosen’t see anything wrong with his behavior and the issue for him is your reaction to his action only, he dosen’t take any accountability for what he did).
Either way him being resentful planing to get revenge or him just being „oblivious and funny“ both don’t scream great partner for me … (even if he didn’t intentionally hurt you – he showed that he just couldn’t be bothered to consider your feelings and needs – in case you want to have children not the best qualities for a parent).
Look closely at your relationship, maybe even analyze why you put up with such behavior (you deserve better). What is important for you in a relationship, what are your life goals, can you count on this person even during hart times ? If this is fixable the least that needs to happen is him taking accountability for his actions and truly regret what he did because he understands what he did wrong. Alternatively you could swallow it down accept the way your relationship is but be sure it won’t be the last time he treats you that way (if that is acceptable for you that would be the easiest way to “fix it”).
Extra question: are these “pranks” just as funny for him if he is put in such a situation?
(Edit : look up the orange peel theory)
I hope you find happiness and love.
I’d never get over that. Plus he didn’t seem to think you were worth proposing to. Get an annulment and find someone more compatible to you who doesn’t act like an 11 year old boy.
Honey.
He didn’t propose for 6 years.
He did nothing to help plan your wedding. He wasn’t nice in letting you take the lead. He was lazy.
After you put your heart and soul into planning your wedding, his only contribution is a fart joke played on you?
Get the annulment.
We are here for you and we are outraged for you.
Call whoever officiated the wedding and tell them not to file the paperwork, it’s as simple as that. Then go to the reception and have your fantastic reception, and *your* prank.
He’ll post something like “my bride left me because I made a joke”. They’ll say you’re too sensitive. Girl, get an annulment now, you’ll never forgive this. And it’s ok, it’s unforgivable.
The sunken cost fallacy. Never stay in a relationship because of how much time you’ve invested. Some things are just bad investments, and once you realise it, then it’s time to walk away to avoid wasting any more time.
Reading this, made me wonder, what if the person saying this replaced it with a drug addiction? Would they get how much it doesn’t make sense to stay bc of time invested. Like… “I’ve spent so much of my life smoking meth, I can’t just walk away after all these years.”
No, the sooner the better, staying only prolongs/exacerbates the damage.
I’m not saying to leave; I’m saying don’t let whatever time you spent factor in as a reason to stay.