My friend (26F), K, came over for a movie, she’s bipolar, depressed and I think is manic right now. My sister, S, is very introverted and asexual, she doesn’t speak her mind much.
K is good friends with my sister too, they send each other memes daily etc. And K has a soft spot for my sister, she gets her gifts if she goes away on a trip. Until now it was all very wholesome.
Last time she came over, she was just very touchy with my sister (There are the usual hugs everytime she comes) I know my sister is not a very touchy person except family (me, my mom,dad, her bff). I didn’t think much of it at that time because they were laughing and talking. I assumed my sisted was now comfortable with my friend and so they were being touchy .(Something happened later that focused my attention on the inappropriate touching.)
After my friend left. My mom gave some leftovers (burgers) to our aunt who lives next door and had come to visit. My sister was upset Bec she wanted the burgers. I asked her why she didn’t speak up and she said she feels shy.
Now this statement rang a bell in my head. If she feels so shy to not even ask for a burger infront of our aunt or can’t even whisper to my mom or me that she wants a burger, she definitely won’t express if she’s uncomfortable with my friend.
So the next day I asked her. She said yes it was inappropriate and she felt uncomfortable. But then she let it go. I told her that if she doesn’t speak up and define her boundaries, people will take advantage of that. I further added that if she’s not stopping my friend, she’ll think you’re comfortable and might increase/maintain the level of physical touch.
Now here is my question.. my friend is bipolar, has depression, is suicidal and is manic right now.. I feel that she’s manic and doing this, it doesn’t excuse it. I’m her only friend.
How do I talk to her or make my sister talk to her without my friend having a mental breakdown? How do I help her set boundaries?