My wife and I have been together for 10 yrs. Married for 7. We have 2 beautiful children. A 4 yr old and 8 yr old.
She was a stay at home for a while but recently started working.
I found out she was messaging her ex really by luck. I was using the office computer at home when I accidentally clicked on her profile. I got up and got a drink while it loaded.
When I came back. There was a few notifications from a contact with her sisters name. I thought this was odd so I clicked on it. She was messaging her ex boyfriend from our college days.
Only reason I know his name is because I was actually in one of the same classes he took.
He was just talking about their sex back in the day and how amazing it was and asking for pictures.
She wasn’t talking sex back but agreeing and was entertaining the subject. I was immediately pissed off because years prior I told her to cut contact with him due to him cheating on her and being emotionally abusive to her. Always gaslighting her.
She said she did and told me not worry about it.
I waited till she got home before I confronted her. I threatened divorce and she didn’t deny anything but begged me not to leave her. When I told her I was set on leaving. She tried to turn it against me.
I said nothing and didn’t speak to her in exception of our kids for almost 3 weeks. During this time she kept begging and apologizing.
I was betrayed, she didn’t physically cheat but emotionally and she was hiding him so he was there to stay.
After taking advice from a few friends, they told me to stick around but just to keep my eyes open.
We talked it out. I told her I didn’t trust her and sternly told her if I were to find her doing anything remotely similar, she would get no warning and be hit with divorce papers.
She agreed and ever since, we don’t argue or anything….. I didn’t necessarily forgive her but we’re on good terms. I always have that feeling in my chest, that she’ll do it again.
I don’t know if I can move past it. I want to know every single detail of how they started talking and why they started talking.
I’m afraid to bring it up again. It’s been well over 6 months.
Any advice ?