What do you do when a woman that’s not attractive hits on you?

36 comments

1. I try and politely make it clear that I’m not interested if I start picking up signs. I’ve let a few women down but I’ve been careful to do it without causing any hard feelings, and so I’m still pretty good friends with most of them.

2. Unrealistic scenario for me, can’t help.

   Probably wouldn’t turn you down though.

3. Doggy style

4. Act oblivious. I’m already profoundly absent-minded and clueless; I just consciously tap into that power rather than trying to fight it.

5. It depends what she’s doing.

   If it’s like subtle flirting, I could probably ignore it.

   If she straight up asks me out, I would probably say no thank you.

6. > how do you guys feel

   Just as I would if a conventionally attractive one or physically attractive to me did, flattered in general since I caught someone’s attention, but there’s more to it

   > What do you do?

   It really depends, in general first of all I try to make friends with people and never start with the idea of potentially being hit on or hitting on someone, especially since I need to know someone very well to feel attracted to them. But it’s not something that would change if I was physically attracted to someone or not, that’s just standard behaviour of mine. Even if someone is totally out of my likings physically, I still try being as friendly as possible as long as they aren’t bothering (that would go also if i was physically attracted to someone)

7. Same thing I do with women who are attractive…I take them home and bang them. Like I am going to turn down someone hitting on me? 99 out of a 100 times I have to do everything. That one ugly person throwing it at me? fuck yeah, lets see what happens.

8. I smile, act cluless or straight up reject them.
   I will be flattered though.
   The same as when men hit on me (or currently basically everyone that hits on me as I’m taken)

9. “I have a boyfriend!” And sassily snap your fingers (I’m not gay). I have also used “Oooooh, you have great taste in men but i am currently taken.”

   I’ve had the funny snap backfire once but the great taste one has yet to fail!

10. Perhaps I buck the trend, but I respond the same to women/girls who show interest whether I find them attractive or not — with respect and kindness. I’m always flattered. It’s a compliment. I’m confident in myself to not let an ego driven mindset govern my actions.

11. I’ve gone in and out of pretty privilege a couple times. Definitely prefer to be in the bubble. For the love of god get back in the bubble, OP.

    I’ve been hit on by women I’m not attracted to a lot recently. My method is to never reciprocate when they try to escalate the interaction from platonic to flirty. It can be awkward if they don’t understand that I’m making a conscious choice to prevent escalation. Sometimes it takes 10 or 15 of these interactions for the message to stick. If there’s a better method I’d like to know.

12. I do the same as when an attractive woman hits on me: I keep going about with my daily life, because I am completely oblivious to the fact that she is hitting on me.

13. Depends on if she is attractive intellectually. If I like her mind and personality, I may ask her out. If not, the. I will politely say I’m not interested but appreciate the effort.

14. If it was someone I wasn’t attracted to then I’d let them down gently and respectfully. Anyone who denigrates your appearance is just a cunt who’s best off ignored and forgotten.

    I’ve had personal experience with this. Some have taken it well, others not so much. Been called gay or that there’s something wrong with me by their friends, as they told me she’s an amazing woman etc. I just said there’s absolute nothing wrong with her personality, I just wasn’t attracted to her.

    I can empathise with the hit to the ego and the feelings of humiliation etc. That’s why I try my best to be as respectful as possible.

15. I wouldn’t know it tbh. But somehow if I did realize a woman was hitting on me, I’d be flattered and a little nervous (I wouldn’t know what to say). I’d like it honestly

16. Pretend I’m retarded

17. I would honestly be happy. Men aren’t complimented or hit on much so a woman asking out would be good.

18. Be polite as fuck and make sure she doesn’t feel bad about the interaction.

19. Women don’t hit on me, period.

20. How unattractive? And How many beers did I consume? This is why women should buy men drinks

21. In the past I have said thank you, but I am seeing someone, or the feeling is not mutual. Then you politely walk away, which is 1000x more polite than most women have treated me in the past.

22. OP, as a middle aged man, it may not feel like it to you now but 33 is still very young! You have so much time ahead of you to find a partner you’re very happy with. Just for curiosity, have you considered improving on yourself to get you back into the attractive state you once had? Loosing weight, diet, hitting the gym, all that stuff? It seems from your post the only confidence issues you have with approaching men are limited just to physical appearance. So I’m thinking how much of a service you’d be doing for yourself in finding a great partner if the physical stuff was no longer an issue.

23. Be kind to them, just as I would a man. As long as I’m careful not to show any interest beyond just simple manners. Usually someone would know you’re not interested if their responses don’t do much to drive the conversation.

24. >The thing is that now I don’t show interest in guys. Even if I am interested, I try not to demonstrate it, ’cause I don’t want them to be grossed out by it or something.

    Welcome to the other side. Just talk to everyone male or female like a platonic friend and try not to offend anyone lol. It’s what most of us guys have been doing for years now.

25. Trust me. You’d probably make most guys’ days if you hit on them!

26. I do what women do to us, “friendzone”. Keep friendly to them, might flirt a little. But when they hint on going to their or my place, find some excuse. They know what’s up.

27. I was about to say I wouldn’t be grossed out if a woman hit on me unless she was incredibly ugly, but then I realised I still wouldn’t be grossed out, just not interested.

    I mean I’ll give you advice I’d give to a guy. If one of the reasons you’re ugly is cause you gained weight, lose the weight. That eliminates this entire issue.

28. A woman’s most attractive asset is confidence. Id rather be with a 6 with confidence than 10 without it, and i mean that.

    I think men will be a lot more considerate of your emotions versus the gender roles reversed.

    That being said, there are some guys that will be strict about a woman meeting a specific physique. But there are men that will fall in love with an awesome personality. don’t give up on yourself.

29. I feel flattered (friendly but, not reciprocated), that’s pretty rare to be good looking in your 20s but not at 33.. isn’t it? Sure it’s not a self esteem thing?

30. I’ll let you know in case it ever happens.

31. I do what you probably did in your 20s when men unattractive to you showed interest in you. And my reaction would depend on how I was approached.

    If you make a subtle indication or flirt, then I will try to politely ignore it. I don’t want to hurt anyone or cause people to lose face.

    If you are more explicit about your interest that I can’t ignore it, I’ll try to let you down easily if you are an acquaintance I don’t want issues with in the future or a friend I care about.

    If you’re really pushy or disrespectful of my rejection then I will shut you down hard and likely ghost you if you’re annoying me.

    I will note one difference between how I think men would react vs women. Some men are worse than I am and despite not being attracted to you, they would probably fuck you/use you then ditch you afterwards. Because they will smash anything and attraction won’t matter to them.

    I don’t really have a suggestion for you here because I don’t suggest making your interest known if you know you’ll be rejected. My best suggestion is to do the hard work and try to lose that weight you feel is holding you down. You’ll likely never look as good as you did in your 20s, but you can always try to improve.

    I also wanted to note pretty privilege isn’t enough. With a smart guy, all that does is really get you in the front door. It’s important for attraction, but I know a woman who is in her 40s who looks 23 & is absolutely gorgeous. She has expressed interest in me several times and I would never get involved with her because her personality comes off as selfish, insecure and narcissistic. And I know a lot of guys don’t like her because of that.

32. It’s not going to happen to me. I’m too old to be hit on, but…..I am attracted more to intelligence, personality, and forthright honesty than looks.

33. Your attractiveness waning is subjective, honestly. You may think you’re not as good-looking as you used to be, but a man you’re interested in may not feel the same way unless you go find out. Everyone should be respectful to people who approach them. As someone who was not so good looking growing up and became desirable later in life, all I ever wanted was for any rejection I faced to be respectful. So when someone I’m not attracted to approaches me, I approach it with the same level of kindness that I wish I would have been shown

34. The answer you don’t want: Hit the gym.

    The answer that may please you: Looks aren’t everything, not even for guys. Can you cook? 🙂

35. I have seen men who are rude to women who don’t look conventionally good and are hitting on the men. Please guys dont be rude they are human too.

36. I’m always absolutely thrilled to be hit on because I’m a fat bastard.
    It someone I deemed not attractive hit on me I’d be equally thrilled….again because I’m a fat bastard.

    However.
    I’d have to turn everybody down and their mother as I am happily married.

    Should turn someone down in a way in which you’d want to be turned down.