I am about to ask things that i wanted to change in life, first i apologize if i dont write well and my english is not good, i am a lone person called introvert but i dont dislike talking but i dont have any friends or social group now that im married, im still in my twenties and my relationship turns bad when we talk about family or anything that has making me feel left out, the reason is because of language barrier, his family side are very loving and wonderful people but i cant interact too much for not understanding their own language, i only just speak english and none of them can talk alot english, so i just listen and be present when im there and i want to show respect, i fight with my husband because im feeling sad to not being able to join and understand what his family is talking about so in the end i feel left out, and my anxiety makes it more worse im shy around people and quiet but i always try my best to communicate if i have the opportunity.
I know im not confident and since when i was young i have not made alot friends and im always busy studying so i didnt had interest in building friendship but it doesnt mean i dont want to.
holidays are here and family wants to meet, but i feel like being left out again when i didnt had someone to talk to and also my sister in law looks like she dont either and always far, so i dont know how to explain my situation and i would think maybe they didnt like me because im different sometimes they avoid my eyes when i try to look.
I have been feeling bad these days because i cant stop thinking about it, i usually live near my family side and celebrate with them but we moved out.
I had been thinking that im only their sister in law, and who they really wanted to see is my husband and not me and its more sad when i cant talk to anyone in the family any social advice or help i would appreciate it, also i really mean it thank you again, i hope everyone will have happy holidays this year too.