I am 33F. I lived in 7 different cities and 3 countries in my twenties, so the moving around wasn’t very conducive to long term relationships, but I had two boyfriends both for a little over a year in my twenties, and I have had two one year relationships now in my thirties.
Because of how much I’ve moved around, I have a very hard time imagining settling down in one place. It seems the last couple men I dated have a suburban dream of buying the forever home, having kids and living near their parents. That sounds like a lovely life, but when I sit down to think about *actually* doing that, I start to panic.
I panic because I love adventure, my parents have always moved around and continue to move around. We are a family that likes to experience new things and new places and I very much have an antsy spirit in me, and I don’t want the suburban American dream. I think I’d be okay with a home base, but I want the opportunity to take adventures and say yes to new opportunities if they come up.
My problem is: this isn’t a vision for life that seems very compatible with people I meet. Part of the problem is me maybe…maybe I have a fear of settling down, and now that I’m 33 I’m starting to think my inability to “settle down” means I’m going to have to live my life alone, which makes me sad. I want a life partner to do adventures with, and I know people who have partners who are willing to take risks together, I just don’t seem to ever find someone like that. Or I find someone who *says* that’s what they want, and then when it comes down to it, they really aren’t and just made it sound like that to get me to like them (it seems).
My question is: the vision of my future is very vague and flexible and I’m trying to decide if that is an impediment to finding a partner. I just have a hard time because I don’t really have a “home town” and I’ve lived all over. Will this just be an easier conversation with the right person? Or am I the problem and I need to find more clarity?