A week ago my (f/28) boyfriend (m/29) of 3 years rang me (we don’t live together) and asked what I’m doing on new year’s eve, I said well, I don’t know(?). He continues “well, I’m going to a pub with John cos he has a broken leg, we’ll just be sat in some not so fancy pub, so you can come if you want, but it’s fine if not, I get you might wanna do something better than this”. I was so taken aback I didn’t know what to say and sort of just went with it but as I thought about it more I felt very forgotten about and not an important part of his life. Im not even asking to be the main priority but at least on the same level as his friends. I also then found out he never spoke to John about Nye and I was the first one to be informed that he will be spending Nye with John.
It’s a recurring behaviour, whenever I celebrate any of my life milestones, he’s with friends. For his birthdays he goes away with his (male) friends. Last year he uninvited me from a new year’s eve party, claiming I’ve been “too moody” recently and he doesn’t want me to ruin Nye for him (Christmas Is a hard time for me). I felt like he doesn’t like me as much as he likes his friends.
On Christmas day, I spent half the day on my own and he would take 1-3 hours to reply to my texts, even when I said “I’m just texting you to feel less alone”, but did text me a bit, just didn’t seem bothered i was alone. He was “too busy” visiting various family members including a not so close friend who lives near by. He didn’t find 2 minutes to call me and didn’t message me first to see how I’m doing so I got very upset. He was aware Christmas is a hard time for me. Again, I felt he doesn’t take me seriously and puts me last.
Do I have unrealistic expectations? Am I wrong for getting upset about his behaviour?
TD;LR Boyfriend made Nye plans with a friend and wasn’t bothered if I come. It’s a recurring behaviour. I feel like he puts me last and doesn’t take me seriously.