30m single, recently i had to change my career, im an estimator with a degree but i never had a good job training so i never had any chance to get to a job in my particular degree, i was always on internships and trainings but i never had a chance to have a proper training to get a later, i finished my degree in 2019 when i was 25, i started my degree after being 4years idle after my highschool dropout cause i was indecisive what to do with my life and i finished this degree in 2015-2019, but ever since i was unemployed, i stayed at home for years hoping i would get a job etc, but i never did and i never had a sallary in my life, tbh i hated my job too, it was had working at construction sites and working in remote areas so i never looked hard enough to find a job. So i stayed with my parents in their home depending on them while watching Netflix all day.
Suddenly when im 29 and all my friends started getting married and thats when it hit me i never have a job or a future, thats when i realized i dont even have money to buy a kfc meal for date, i was so mentally bad at last 3years living at home with my parents no social life no gf no friends or anything, and to worse it every time i go to social media one of my freinds or colleagues i know from school has got married. It stings like hell i mean they are earned and they are started new families while i didnt even had my first sallary at age 29. I was sleepless for months and i was shit scared for future and suddenly I realized i never have any chance to get a job from my particular degree as im already 30 and no experience in that job, to make it worse there were a collapse in construction industry due to bad economy and most projects were stopped and even people who are experienced than me had hard time of finding jobs in last year. I was so scared cause as i get more older i have no any way to get in to a job,
So a family friend helped me to get in to a job as a document officer in a corporate office, this is a totally different job than the degree im having and people here work are attorneys in law while im having a construction degree. To worse it the everyone here working are from age yesr 1999 or 2000 and they are 8or more years young than me, most of them are having a better sallary than me and they are in their releavnt field and they re mostly here working while they do their higher studies. Basically they are 8 yesrs young and having better salaries and they arein their correct timeline. Im the one who is eldest in the office in a none mangement position, basically im a manchild who put in to a kindergartn, im an stray too without a proper degree for the job,
I hurts like hell when im work with them cause i have to work under people who are 8+ years young than me, and they are all in their right time line, im fedup of their jokes of when im going to marry or they treat me as the adult, cause it hurts im here as a dead person and every one asks what im doing here and why im not finding a job in construction, but how can i tell them that i was never good at that job and never had a job, and when they ask about when im gonna marry it makes me wanna kill myself, cause i dont have a gf or any hope that anyone will marry a loser like me, im 31 next year. Most of the time when they joke i get hurt, cause they have a whole life ahead of them and im just a person with a dead dream, they will go jump from job to job demanding sallaries while im stuck here cause i have no qualifications to get another job, if someone didn’t help me to get this job i would still be unemployed. Im scared as hell and im sad and embarrassed too, im just a person without any sort of future and im going to this job cause i have no any options, im basically hidden away from everyone i know personally cause i got nothing to tell them, all my friends are married and having good lives while im lost here. I feel like universe is punishing me for things i never did.
All i know is it gonna get worse as i get old, being among qualified people who are so young than me it gonna crush my soul, im just dead inside without any hope. I have no one to talk this even, i cry at night and go to work next day cause i have no options. And im working in different city far from home and everyone there at my office are from the same city, so im the only one who come to job from a staying at place. They laugh at it too.
I have read many stories people changed thier careers at age 30 and after and many have flipped life after age 30, but all i know is it is impossible to do at this age cause at age 30 you are suppose to be in a certain place in a certain career with experience and married. If not its gonna be whole hard and depressing for like me.
Please tell me what i should do. I have no one to talk about this and im fedup.