What is something you’re encouraged to do that you feel isn’t in your best interest?

28 comments

  1. Spend time with family.

    The amount I actually want to spend with them vs. the amount of time they think I should want to spend with them is a big difference.

  4. Spend time with my brother.

    Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall and he’s not a good person to be around but “oh he’s your only full sibling” yeah, no thanks

  6. This isn’t a huge problem but once in awhile I’ll interact with someone who asks me about my mother and when I say that I don’t have a relationship with her, they’ll give me the whole “you only have one mother, you don’t want her to pass away without patching things up, you’d never forgive yourself, etc.”

    I’m completely confident that having a relationship with her is detrimental to me and not having one is far more beneficial so thankfully comments like these don’t bother me too much.

  10. Go to law school.

    I did very well in high school and university, and I started working as a legal assistant/paralegal as a way to test the waters and see if I might want to become a lawyer someday.

    After working in the industry for a few years, I’ve determined that I don’t think I would do well as an attorney. I have the brains and the drive, but I lack the hyper-competitive personality type.

    I’m actually really happy in my profession. I have a well-paying job with good benefits and plenty of opportunities for growth, and I get to work in the legal field while still being able to leave work at work and take time off when needed. Still, many of the people in my family seem to think that I’m wasting my potential by choosing not to pursue a law degree. Drives me nuts.

  11. Owning a car. It’s a tax no one ever discusses. And it’s essentially non-optional. You must have one in the USA unless you live in a metropolitan city.

  12. Cooking and just chores in general. In my country there is no concept of minimum wage so it’s normal for every household to have maids and househelps and that’s exactly what im used to. I know its a basic thing that everyone should be able to do on their own be it a man or woman, i dont ignore it because im irresponsible i just HATE it and if i can pay someone to do it for me then good for me. However i was planning to move out of country and this has been worrying me a bit. I know enough to survive but not enough to enjoy good food and a house thats cleaned on a regular basis.

  16. Have children.

    Husband and I made the decision last year to not have them. I’ve been amazed and at times amused at the negative reactions we’ve received since from family and friends.

  17. Apply to my state for a state job. Ive heard nothing but negative things but everyone in my family wants me to do it for the benefits, but also these people are dating back in the early 90’s and 2000’s when they worked there. Times have changed.

  18. Going to college.

    I’m 25 and I still don’t have a “dream job.” I don’t know how i’d be expected to decide what I want to go to school for at age 18. I tried college online when I was 18 but my anxiety and depression got the best of me and I dropped out. I used to compare myself to my friends in college and feel bad about myself. Like I was worthless, stupid, and missing out on friendships and experiences. But I was the first of my friends to get my own car because I was working, and I can confidently say that I was happier than my friends who were in school. My best friend graduated but doesn’t use her degree. She got a degree in something she’s not even interested in due to pressure from parents and society. In fact, she recently got hired where I work. I’ve been at my job for 3 years, I make $25/hour, and I’m not buried in student debt.

    I wish there was more education about jobs that you can get without needing college. As a teenager I wish I had more information about trades, jobs that provide on-the-job training, etc. instead of feeling like I’ll be worthless if I don’t have a college degree.

    My job provided me training and paid for me to get the certifications I need, and paid for me to get my notary license. I love being an office girly who only works 8am-4pm and gets her weekends on holidays off.

    Edited for spelling/typos

  21. A lot of things adults are expected to do: settle down, get a stable job, have a career…

    I’m 25 and I there is so much I want to do before I settle down (if I ever settle down). I want to travel and work abroad, I have dreams of going back to a specific country and work there for a few years. My family thinks I’m being too idealistic or picky but the thought of settling down in my home country right now and lock myself up in a routine and a long-term stable job gives me so much anxiety. I’m scared of losing sight of my own dreams in the face of financial stability. These expectations really take a toll on my mental health sometimes. I’m so scared of waking up when I’m 50 only to realize my creative and adventurous spirit is completely fried and I’ve strayed so far from my core values and aspirations.

  23. go back to school. i have loans i can’t pay *because* i didn’t drop out when i wanted.

  24. Dating, Settling down, having children…especially by my mother.

    Right now, I got enough on my plate. There are things I need to do first to feel more confident when dating again. I want them, of course – just when I’m in a better place.

  27. Buy a house. It’s like a freaking religion where I currently live. Ugh.

    I have no interest in staying in one place, no interest in being tied to a mortgage for 30 years and paying 3/4 of my wages every week for something that I don’t even want (and is ridiculously overpriced) and that means I can’t afford to do anything I actually want to do as a result.

    There is no planet on which not being able to live my life for 3 decades just to get something I do not want or need is in my best interests. Ugh.

  28. I’m going to hop in and say give people chances, especially people you hardly know.

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