Like no dating, no hookups, no sex, etc. to work on themselves

*achieve or learn
**& period of time can even be longer

36 comments

  1. I learned how to be a person I’m my own right, instead of being someone’s girlfriend. I’d spent a decade only focusing on what I was bringing to relationships, I didn’t know what my hobbies were, or even really what I wanted out of a relationship. I just knew i wanted to be in one so I wasn’t alone.

    I learned how to be alone.

  2. Lol took me 6 years post divorce to even want to have anyone in my life. I just didn’t want the hassle of it, I had enough going on and needed to heal from my stuff. I just didn’t want a future man in my life to have to pay for the shit my ex did.

    A lot of self reflection, time spent taking care of myself for once, etc. it gave me a good baseline for how I want to be treated. The thing is, when you’re comfortable being single, you’ll be less comfortable being treated badly in a relationship because the alternative is better. There are huge benefits to being single. Eat what I wanted, saw the movies I wanted, did the things I wanted. Didn’t have to consider anyone else when doing stuff or making decisions for my home and life. It was luxurious.

    And now that I’m past that phase, I find my desire for a partner has increased again but I still have that reference point of being single and am way less likely to stay in a bad relationship because of it. Also, I have better boundaries because of it, which is one thing that will help things if/when my current relationship becomes a life partnership deal.

  3. Madness. That was my achievement.

    Then there was the odyssey to find balance. That part was more rewarding.

  4. I was single for 3 years after my divorce. I raised my toddler, learned to co-parent with the ex-husband, went to therapy, and spent time building friendships.

    I have no regrets about that time period.

  6. I learned how to develop and maintain relationships that weren’t specifically romantic; this includes building a healthier relationship with myself! Prioritizing my passions, happiness and time, growing my support systems, and feeling secure in my needs before moving on to the next romance. That way, I can assert myself and love in a healthy way with the next person

  7. Biggest thing was learning how to be 100% happy and fulfilled without sex or romantic love. Having that foundation has made it *much* easier to cut toxic people out of my life and to make better choices around dating/sex.

    No surprise, but if you don’t feel like you need something, you tend to think a lot more clearly about whether it’s worth it or not.

  8. Easy. I did this while married. I gained perspective on my marriage, growth in my career and clarity on my needs, wants, and desires. There is nothing wrong with celibacy for a minute.

  9. 7 months was my longest run and I learned to find what I like about a partner. I was also super horny the entire time 😭

  10. I graduated, lost 100 lbs, got in the best shape of my life, moved across the country, got into a doctorate program, found amazing friendships, and rediscovered past hobbies and discovered new ones. Created a great life for myself and learned a lot about myself in the process

  11. I went a full year after leaving my ex. Spent it focusing on getting my two young teenage boys settled in a new town and school. Also calming myself down, I was too raw and angry from having had my whole life blown up.

  12. I’m happier. Genuinely. I made myself sick with insecurities and anxiety when it came to dating, I’ve been cheating on & have experienced DV. I lost 22lbs, made new friends, saved money, traveled to Europe and the Caribbean. I don’t cry over men anymore and haven’t had UTIs in years 🙂

  14. I went for 8 months without sex and I learned that sex is a want, not a need. On my next celibacy journey right now, two months in. I would rather be alone than fucked lovelessly. It just doesn’t scratch the itch for me anymore. I really wonder where it will take me to keep going on like this. I feel a sense of trust and surrender as David Dieda talks about. I aspire to be heart open to love by the whole universe. There is a freedom here for sure. An acceptance, an actualization of autonomous unconditional love. I hope to cultivate myself for a truly divine union. To make myself the person I would want to be with for the rest of my life, because I am.

  15. I did this for 3 months after being sexually assaulted. It helped me feel comfortable in my own skin and gain more respect for my body and my decisions. When I went back out there I was slightly choosier with my partners and more careful about my awareness and the places and people I let myself spend time with.

  18. Worked on my self-esteem and boundary-setting, healed from dating burnout so I could actually enjoy dating again, and had orgasms much more consistently.

  19. I learned that I am 100% capable and awesome on my own and that I don’t need ANYONE else to “complete” me. It completely changed how I approached dating in the future. I wasn’t looking for “my soulmate”- I was happy and content on my own so if I found someone who was a good fit and could be there to support one another and walk through the good and bad times in life with- then awesome. and if not- it was ok because I already knew I was ok just being on my own. I wish everyone would take time to really be alone and work on themselves and get to that place in life.

  20. Never had the urge to hookup and never ever will, not dating rn because my trust has been broken. So I’ve been on my own for a while

    It’s brought me peace, and even tho I have low self esteem I value myself and i don’t want to sleep around. I’m proud of myself for not giving into pressure from ppl who wanted me to be FWB’s, it’s not happening.

  21. I haven’t had sex in 7 months due to various reasons but I have been dating. I think not sleeping with anyone has allowed my nervous to reach a normal ebb and flow and it’s so nice.

  22. 6 months to a year is not a long period of time…Do most people spend more of their lives always in a relationship? When I think long time, I think 2 or 3 years after a breakup….Jesus.

  23. I learned to find myself again. Prior to the break, I was in toxic relationships, and was driven down to depression due to work. Lost myself, forgot what I enjoyed doing, and went back on a self discovery journey in isolation. Deleted my social media, travelled alone to places, found a job in a different country, lost weight and looked my best self. I remembered who I was, and what I enjoyed doing eventually, and became incredibly secure in who I am. That 1 year break was the best time of my life that I learned to love who I am as a person, and finding peace being alone.

  25. Been celibate since Sept 7, 2022. Not interested in casual sex and not mentally ready for a relationship so here I am!

    It has been a nice reset. 2022 was a rough year for me that knocked me on my ass and I took 2023 to essentially get back on my feet and stabilize. I want 2024 to be the year I focus on self-care so I still have no interest in focusing on men but we’ll see what the universe has in-store for me. I’m feeling very protective over the peace and stability I’ve got in my life right now.

  26. I learned that when im celibate i get really into doing tarot and dream journaling

  28. I got much more comfortable with boundary setting and found value in platonic touch. My body also chilled out with the pavlovian responses to touch in certain places and I was able to get a full body massage from a professional without it being weird! I also learned that some people I thought were friends were just in it for the sex and didn’t actually care about me. Also the more expensive vibrators are worth the investment.

  29. I’ve been working on healing my wounds, cut out alcohol, and work out 5 days a week now. It’s been a bit over a year and I’m just about ready to get back into dating, but I figure taking a year off when I hadn’t been single from the ages of 14-33 nonstop was more than necessary. I want to be my own whole person who loves myself fully and knows to give more to myself than to my partner, that takes time to learn and after the first entirety of my lifetime sacrificing for others, it’s been wonderful to give everything to myself.

  30. I spent a year rejecting dates and sex. The first few months were hard but the last while were really great. I learned to enjoy my own company, get to know myself, heal some bad patterns and experience life on my own terms. When the right guy came into my life I even questioned if I wanted to be in a relationship again because I was enjoying myself but he won me over and weve been together for almost 7 years.
    When I say the first few months were hard, I mean they were harrrrrd. A dark night of the soul hard. I recogised how terrible I had been treating myself and basing my self worth around hopping from one guy to the next. I drank a lot more (by myself..) for a few months and got really depressed but then I bounced back better than ever by the end of it.

  34. I’ve been celibate for 2 years after doing back to back relationships for over 10 years (seriously it was bad.) I learned how to become my own best friend, cut out nasty codependent behavior, work on my self esteem, heal childhood trauma and now have extremely strong boundaries. I’m just now starting to get on the apps again and everyone tells me I’m being picky but I just genuinely know my worth now and will never settle again out of comfort of just having someone around.

  35. I didn’t really achieve anything other than not having to deal with the stress of dating.

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