I’m not proud of how I found this, but I snooped through my husband’s phone while he was sleeping and took a peek at what he has in the saved folder on insta and tiktok. Out of the gym and anime videos there were several videos of very attractive tik tok girls in little clothing with simply their body being the center of the post. Some of them were sexy cosplayers with cleavage but most of it is just random girls that are top heavy jiggling their bodies.
When he woke up from sleeping I asked if we could watch the tiktoks I sent him earlier that day (because that’s what we usually do together). And after that I asked if I could go through his saved folder bc I was curious, he was very hesistent at first and took his phone away. He said he didn’t want to “deal with this right now” and said I just want to argue. He said he wanted to look through his saved before I did because he might have some wild stuff saved from like 2 years ago, and said I was just gonna get mad for no reason. After some convincing he finally let me see. Immediately I pointed out all of the posts of random girls and how they were sexual in nature. There were videos in the saved folder that got posted as early as last month.
I asked him why he has this kind of content saved and he had an excuse for all of them. Along the lines of “I saved it so I could show my friend who doesn’t have tiktok and share some lore about this creator because people are trying to get them banned”. And “I saved this because people are dogging on this girl, and the comments were funny idk”. I told him I didn’t think those were good enough reasons to have content like that SAVED, because if it’s saved it means you’ll go back and look at it AGAIN. He said sometimes he randomly saves videos and doesn’t get to looking at them again and he thinks his excuses are valid.
I started to cry because I was hurt and he started to get defensive. After he agreed not to save videos like that he decided to say “I was looking for a reason to be upset when I went though his saved folder and I would’ve gotten mad over anything in the folder whether it be a harmless photo of some girl with long black hair”. It made me feel like my feelings weren’t valid, I think it’s completely reasonable to be upset that my husband has content sexual in nature of other women on his phone, no matter the excuse. I think it’s messed up he had those kind of videos of other people saved in the first place but then he refused to show me and claimed I would make a big deal out of just anything. I need some advice