My husband (29M) and I (29F) have decided that this year for New Years Eve, we would go to his parents house for two hours and then go to my families for two hours, then our goal was to make it back home before midnight to avoid all the drunk drivers. When we left our house, my cousin had asked if I could take grapes and chips, so I agreed to pick them up on the way to her house. When we got to my in-laws my FIL took off with my twins (5M) to one of the rooms and my husband went behind them. My MIL was talking to her other son on FaceTime, and I just stayed in the living room, after 30 minutes of just sitting on the couch, I asked my husband if I could have the keys so I could save us some time and go get the chips and grapes. He had agreed but wanted to go with me, in which I responded, it’s okay spend time with your parents. While I went to the store he sent me texts going off on how rude I was for leaving his parents house and how I’m such an ugly person. He told me that he didn’t want to go to my families, and that I was to drop him off at home. He also said how he doesn’t know how he married someone like me and how it was best we separated, and then made assumptions that I just didn’t leave to get just “grapes and chips”.
A little back story, his family and I do not get along. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and married for 5yrs. To this day, I have asked my MIL why she doesn’t like me, to which she has responded that she’s just not a loving person, only to her grandchildren. Which doesn’t explain why she’s been rude to me. For the first years, she’s been the type of person in which I would approach her to say hi and she would turn her back. Between her, her other son and daughter, they just talk bad about me to my husband. My husbands sister once told him that she was getting a divorce because she didn’t want to be miserable in a marriage like him. This past Mother’s Day my BIL ruined it because he told my husband that he shouldn’t be spending time with my mom and that we should only be with their mom. We didn’t spent it with neither because I just wanted to be laying down watching movies with my sons at home. I thought this was hypocrite to say because he hasn’t spent one single holiday with his parents, he only takes his daughters with his in-laws. I also thought it was unnecessary to drag my mom into it, and my husband was just a d**k that day because of it. They continuously tell my husband that they pray for him and the boys, which makes me feel sh*tty and unwanted. In addition, two years ago my husband had a gaming addition, and I had told him to help me out with the boys, in which he was upset, and his best friend whom he used to play with said “I would stab her honestly”…. And the reason why I mentioned all this is because not once has he confronted any body and gone off that they’re being rude. I always get the “I don’t want any problems” and “being rude is not a crime” or the “just get over it”.
I’ve also been unemployed for the past three years because one of my sons has been diagnosed with epilepsy and he’s nonverbal. I’m the main caretaker that takes him to his appointments and I’m trying my best to work with specialist to get him to talk. I’ve gone back to school online, and after many all nighters, I just graduated this past December with my bachelors, so I’m hoping to find a remote job.
Last night when I dropped off my husband my son started to say “ are we dropping off daddy because he’s going to watch football and he’s being mean”. I corrected him and told him that no, dad just wasn’t feeling well. I felt bad, and I stopped at the fireworks store to grab some sparklers for them. I then received a text in which my husband said that one day the boys will know the truth. In which I responded with “they are seeing the truth”. This moment was really nostalgic for me, as I realized and made me appreciate why my mom did certain things during my childhood. My plan wasn’t to go buy fireworks, but I wanted to replaced my sons negative memory with a positive. It was a realization on how often I did it. I don’t have the luxury of being upset and leaving, it was having to fight back my emotions while being a mom.
I apologize for this being long, I just needed to vent.
Am I in the wrong for leaving my in-laws to go buy chips and grapes?