This is not a very troublesome story, but I kinda would appreciate some advice, own experiences, etc. I want to describe in detail so it could be lengthy. So here is my situation:
A year ago, I met a girl through a birthday party of a friend. We went bowling, and it was quite loud there, so talking was very hard, and we rarely did. But the small exchanges we had had me thinking about her later when I went home – she also drove me and a friend home after – because she was very friendly, smiling a lot and stuff like that. But I didn’t reach out to her because of some other backstory (but that is irrelevant for this).
So about 2 or 3 months later, I randomly saw her profile on Tinder, and I hesitated first but then swiped her right to “let destiny decide :D”. A day or two later, I got a message that she matched me :o. At first, I didn’t know how to text her, but I just started, and it was kind of awkward for both of us but at the same time, we took it well and made the best of the situation and had some laughs about it. We quickly exchanged numbers and agreed to meet to see where it goes and to get to know each other at least.
The date was something between “ok” and “good”. I feel like it was still a bit awkward for us, and there was some kind of shyness in the air. But we continued texting for a week or so, and I invited her to my place just for an hour during my lunch break and prepared a meal for her (she is a nurse, and it was hard to find some time where our working hours would match well, and I was going to be away for at least a week after that day so we wanted to see each other at least before that happened).
It was good, and I think I could’ve kissed her on that day but didn’t have the guts then. But then when I was away because of work, we continued texting just like before, and then suddenly I felt the usual “losing interest” of girls when you feel like you need to keep the conversation going more and more. Then suddenly she didn’t respond anymore, and because I had so many bad ghosting experiences before, I was kinda like “ok fuck it – I am not going to double text her, it’s not worth it”. I was very disappointed because this was the first girl in a long time where I really felt something and also I got to know her first in real life which is kind of special these days (the friend through I met her also told me that she also has had some bad Tinder experiences – just for context).
Then wayyyyy later, like 6 weeks or so, she reached out to me again and told me that she felt very bad not texting me but she had personal problems because a lot of her patients died shortly after each other in just two weeks. And she felt like after 2 weeks it was too late to text me and that she didn’t yet know what she wants at the moment and didn’t want to hurt me but just wanted to let me know that she is sorry. We then just chatted for two or three days where she told me a little more details about it. The chat then ended with me sending a message (I think a little mean-sounding in that moment, but actually I am not sure if I am just overthinking this).
Now 8 months or so have passed, and we didn’t have any communication whatsoever – I thought about her sometimes but not that much to be honest. In the meantime, she also deleted her insta (I think this was just for her own mental health to go offline completely). Then just a couple of weeks ago she suddenly had a new Insta profile (I saw this in my recommends and the friend also followed her already). I didn’t think much of it but only that it would be awkward to follow her – and so I didn’t. But now like 2 weeks ago she sent ME a request on insta with her new profile so follow each other again – and I don’t know but I didn’t expect her to make a step like that at all. And so I started thinking about her again a little more now, like every other day or so. I have no idea if she has a boyfriend now or what her situation is at all and I was thinking about reaching out to her, or maybe just like a picture or two from her profile to send some “signals” to see what happens (again haha, but I also think it’s a little creepy).
But also, in a couple of weeks, that same friend’s birthday party is going to be again and it’s very likely that I see her there again (and I kind of want it).
So my question maybe: should I reach out to her already or should I reach out to her at all?? Or should I wait to see if she is even going to be there at the party? Do you have similar experiences? What do you think of the situation? Just some thoughts pls – would be highly appreciated.
Oh maybe some additional context: I am 25 she is 26 if that matters.