will preface this by saying that I have never cheated, nor would I want to be the cause of a family breaking up. I (33F) have been woth my husband (34M) for over 10 years. We have a home together and a pretty good life. During Covid, both of us were laid off and got into debt as we were not financially ready for being without work for over six months. However, things eventually turned around and we both landed good jobs. His however, came with potential to travel to England on occassion. That was fine, until August of 2022, he was to be based out in England for a year contract with a client. I begged him not to take it, as the salary would be the same if he worked in the US office. Needless to say, he took the job and I stayed back. Its been hell ever since.
During the time hes been gone, a family moved in a couple houses down the street. I have hosted events and had them over, as well as been a guest in their home.
The husband, (34 M) has been divorced before and has a child with another women, through an affair. His wife (29F) and him have two kids together.
As of October, she has asked me to stop waving hello or speaking to her husband. She informed me that she knows he is prone to affairs and that not only have I and my situation, caught his attention but she sees a noticeable change in me as well when i am around him. I immediately apologized to her and informed her that that was not my intention and I infact steered clear of him. She also dropped contact with me, which is understandable. However, her husband has come by my home a few times since. The first time he came by, was around Thanksgiving where he dropped off a wine bottle and his family xmas card. I thanked him for it and even sent a text to his wife, who i then found out she had me blocked. I then proceeded to ask him to not come by out of respect for his and my marriage the next time he came by.
Well, we keep running into each other in oir day by day life and he still drops off an occasional wine bottle or a giftcard to our local coffee shop. A few times that we run into each other, his wife is with him and she does a quick greet and walk off versus when its just him and I. We talk, and its nice. He’s growing on me, and I can see what she was seeing start to develop.
I feel so guilty about it and I dont understand why! We have not done anything, and most of the times his gifts are left in my front porch, and like I said the run ins are never planned, they just happen. I feel like I need to tell his wife but i also don’t want to be labeled as a homewrecker.
I discussed this with a friend and she agreed that with my husband gone, I am more than likely not realizing that I am seeking someone. I have asked my husband to return from his trip, but he is pushing for a couple more months. I’m currently steering clear of the neighbor as much as I can. I find myself occasionally thinking about him (this entire post for example) but also annoyed that Im the one having to change my routines just to make sure I don’t run into him. I am getting gas and groceries in the other towns near and its becoming frustrating.
Am I frustrated over the groceries, or am i that lonely Im seeking out a married man who is prone to affairs?!!