I’m (20F) seeing someone (21M) for the first time in a while. I’ve always been on my own and I’ve never had a relationship, only a crush or two.
We started talking casually around two months ago and since then we never stopped. So far everything’s been perfect, he’s an amazing, good-looking, incredibly sweet and respectful guy, we share a lot of interests and he cares about me a lot. I opened up to him a lot and he has always been understanding, supporting me in everything. He also encouraged me to finish writing my book and pursue my dream to become an author.
However, since he confessed and kissed me, all that I could feel was confusion. We have a lot of chemistry and I feel happy with him, but for some reason I am utterly terrified at the thought of intimacy – not even in a sexual way, just in general. The idea of sharing a part of myself with someone else and having someone SO close to me is terrifying. I know that when we meet he will, of course, try to get emotionally and physically closer to me and that alone frightens me.
I talked to him about having a difficult personality and having trouble with my feelings. He said that it was okay, and that we can discuss everything and make it work if needed. I told myself – and he also agrees – that there is no reason to rush and time will make its course, but I am incredibly stressed by this situation. I’ve wanted to fall in love and have a relationship for a long time, and now that I have the opportunity, I just feel like avoiding everything and escape.
We’re also from the same town, but we both live and study in two different cities which are around 3 hours away. However, the thought of being physically separated from him doesn’t seem to affect me too badly, and I value my indepedence and my time a lot.
Am I overthinking all of this and is it too soon? Should I just continue and ignore this feeling? Or is he not the right person? I’m honestly so lost and don’t know what to say or think, because I do not want to hurt or mislead him at all. I really feel like I am the problem and it’s my fault if everything goes badly.
**TL;DR**: I (20F) have been seeing someone (21M) for two months and everything’s going incredibly well so far, but since he confessed I’ve been incredibly scared of getting emotionally and physically closer to him. Am I overthinking or is he simply not the right person? What should I do?